"TICKLER! my faithful secretary, the friend and companion of my future fortunes!" exclaimed the general, embracing the trembling Tickler as he entered the room somewhat timidly. And after shaking him warmly by the hand he ordered two punches, over which he promised to give him an account of the anxiety he had suffered at his absence, and which might have proved a serious affair to the nation.
"By my honor, general," replied Tickler, fingering his beard, and looking somewhat confused, "your kindness is as unexpected as I know it is sincere. And if you say the punches, it is as you say. It is to ask your forgiveness I came, and here you offer me proofs that I have not even incurred1 your displeasure."
"Mercy and courtesy, friend Tickler, belong to our profession," interrupted the general, elongating2 his body, placing his thumbs in the arm-holes of his waistcoat, and striding twice or thrice across the room. "I feared you were dead, friend Tickler. And it might look suspicious," he resumed. "But you are alive, and I am glad enough of it." The punches now smoked upon the table; and as the general drew up his chair beside the secretary, that functionary3 began to relate the cause of his absence. "I got safe into Baltimore, you see, and having no more fears of the finger-taps of sheriffs, was quietly wending my way for the Gilmore House, and had reached a fine old mansion4 that stood a little from the street, when my attention was attracted by a voice singing so sweetly that I became like one transfixed, for the strains seemed melting my very heart. And you know, general, that it's no hard matter to melt the heart of an Irish gentleman. The voice sounded like one I had heard before, and I paused, and listened, and wondered whose it could be, and suddenly it ceased. I turned to gaze in the direction from whence the music came, and there saw, through an open window, a girl of such exquisite5 beauty that I felt like getting upon my knees and worshipping her as the idol6 of love. During the pause she sat at a piano motioning her fan, and with so much grace and delicacy7 that even a Castilian could not have excelled it. Her complexion8 was like alabaster9, her features of Grecian cast, and as regular as if they had been chiseled10. And these charms were made more bewitching by the luxuriant tresses of black hair that hung carelessly down upon her broad, white shoulders. The thought that I had seen her before almost crazed me. Then suddenly her delicate fingers tripped over the keys of the piano, and she struck up a song, the words of which I have not now at my tongue's end, but which I remember said a deal about hope, anguish11, and hearts that were true. Something also was said about the cold marble, and withered12 hopes. I may say, sir, that it bore a strong resemblance to songs I have heard sung by lovers in my own country,-"
"Pray proceed with what came of the lady," interrupted the general, impatiently.
"Why, sir, she sang this song so sweetly that the very air seemed filled with melody, and I fancied myself either in Limerick or Paradise. After gazing in admiration13 of her for several minutes, she turned her eyes toward me; and as she did so, 'Heavens!' says I, 'there's Linda Mortimor!' And if you would know who this Linda Mortimor is, listen and I will tell you. Her father was a merchant of New York, of princely fortune and good ancestry14. And this fortune, together with his pride, he was resolved never to let get beyond the narrow limits of a circle of distant but equally fortunate relatives. But Linda, who was just budding into her seventeenth summer, let her affections fall upon an opera singer, a tenor16 of the name of Leon Benoni, who had some fame in his profession, and was likewise a man of good morals, which is rare with such gentlemen. I had known Leon for many years, and between us there existed a strong friendship. And as he returned Linda's affections with a love so impassioned that he swore death only could separate them, I promised to render him such service as he might need in an emergency. The possession of a girl so pure, so tender in years, and yet so beautiful, was a prize Leon would have braved death to gain."
The general, more impatient than ever, again interrupted by enjoining17 Mr. Tickler to stick to Linda, and omit what Leon said.
"When you have two lovers in a story," returned the critic, "you cannot well get along with what one said: you must fetch them along together."
"That may be your New York fashion," interpolated the general; "but I know one Joe Doane, of Barnstable, who had a whole year of love stories in his head, and got along well enough with one lover to a story."
These remarks somewhat displeased18 the secretary, who gave vent15 to his feelings in certain upward turns of his short nose. In truth, he was well-nigh ending the love story on the spot; for he cursed in his heart the stupidity of a gentleman of such shallow tastes that he would only have one lover in so good a story. But he bethought himself that now they were both high officials, he must show proper deference19 to his superior. "If you would have love stories," pursued the critic, with an air of regained20 pride, "pray take them in their natural state, and not as they are made by popular novelists, who get all sorts of murders into them. As to this young couple, seeing that Heaven (which forms destinies,) had ordered their love to run one way, I arranged their interviews, and so managed the exchange of their communications that they had pledged their affections in eternal constancy for months before the affair reached the ears of Linda's parents. And when it did, a great excitement was got up against Leon, who was charged with various crimes against the dignity of the family; indeed, so far was their indignation carried that several ambitious members of the family threatened him with no few ounces of cold lead. Opera singing was, at best, they said, but a shabby occupation, followed only by such trifling21 foreigners as had nothing else to do, and were wisely kept outside the pale of society.
"Leon then was cruelly separated from Linda, whose hard-hearted parents had her locked up in her chamber22, where she remained seven months writing her grief in verses of such rare sentiment and purity of style that I doubt if Byron has anything to excel them. But finding that her love for Leon was incurable23, and that the confinement24 was producing insanity25 of mind, her father thought to affect a remedy by offering Leon ten thousand dollars to quit the country. This he spurned26, bidding the father give his money to him who measured the soul of man by its value.
"Linda's only companion during the confinement, was a pet canary, which she had trained to convey messages across the street, and into the window of a chamber occupied by one Minnie Rush, a companion and schoolmate, and one to whom she could intrust the secrets of her heart with explicit27 confidence. Through this medium then she discovered the place of her confinement to Leon, for whom I arranged a plan of scaling her prison and carrying her away. And this plan we undertook to execute of a dark night in November, when a pelting28 storm drenched29 the earth with rain, and the wind howled, and all the adverse30 elements seemed to have combined to complete the fury of the tempest. Linda was prepared, and paced her room with curious hopes and anticipations31 swelling32 her heart, and even filling her eyes with tears. When the clock struck twelve, we had, by dint33 of great exertion34, got the ladder to Linda's window in the third story. And as Leon commenced ascending35, Linda slowly opened the window. Fiercer and fiercer their throbbing36 hearts began beating; each second seemed an hour; and although the storm howled piteously, anxiety had so sharpened their senses that they distinctly heard the slightest movement. Quickening his pace as he advanced, and thinking only of the prize he would rescue from its prison, he was well nigh the top of the ladder. Another minute and the two lovers would have been clasped in each other's arms. Not a thought would have been wasted on the hard-hearted father; Leon would have borne the darling of his heart away in triumph! But lo! a crash was heard; the ladder yielded to the gale38, and Leon, who was a man of much weight and circumference39, fell to the ground with a broken leg. 'A pretty pickle40 you'r in now, Orlando Tickler,' says I to myself. But to make the matter worse, the ladder fell also, and so great was the noise that the father of Linda and two friends rushed out of the house in their night clothes, and with pistols in their hands. Seeing the cause of the disturbance41, they at once gave chase after me; and though I would have stood by Leon until death separated us, it came into my mind that getting away as fast as possible would be the best service I could render him, seeing that it would afford him an opportunity to creep away into some hiding-place.
"I must not forget to tell you, general, that although I am a fleet-footed man, so closely was I pursued that I received not less than three shots in the skirts of my coat, and had been a dead man, but that two good-natured policemen came up, and stopping the enraged42 father, bid him give an account of himself; for they were unaccustomed to seeing gentlemen run naked in such a storm, armed with pistols. This enabled me to reach a place of safety. But the thought struck me that they would return and make search for Leon. I therefore followed them at a stealthy pace and at a safe distance for myself. Leon had crawled through a little gate and into a garden close by, where he found a shelter beneath some larch43 bushes, and was safe from the vengeance44 of his pursuers, who several times passed and re-passed within a few feet of him. The wreck45 of the ladder was all that greeted their eyes.
"When then the father and his friends returned disappointed to the house, I approached the policemen, and giving them an account of the affair and a few dollars, soon secured their good services. In truth, sir, they declared by their truncheons that if they had been let into the secret a little earlier the hard-hearted old parent had been locked up in the station house, and made to give an account of himself, and, perhaps, to pay dearly for being caught in a plight46 so dangerous to the peace of the neighborhood. They, however, kindly47 assisted in getting a carriage, in which Leon was got to his home, where he remained seven weeks without singing a note, and suffering much in mind, as well as body. And when he recovered, it was only to find that Linda was gone-had been carried away, and no one could tell him the place of her concealment48. Thus forlorn, he gave himself up in despair, and came near dying of a broken heart, though he was attended by three physicians. But the post-man brought him a letter one day, and a timely letter it was; for by it Linda informed Leon that she was in Madrid with her father, which caused him so much joy that I had fears lest it derange49 his understanding. But a cloud came over his joy when she told him that such was the surveillance she was under that her life seemed a mere50 continuation of wretchedness. And while she still declared her love was unchanged, she artfully added that her father had so modified his opinions of foreigners as to press a suit between her and a Spanish Count, of whom it was said that he possessed51 estates in Arragon. This news seriously affected52 Leon, who was of an impulsive53 temper, and quick to give himself up to grief; for he knew what strange changes time and distance works in the mind of a young, ardent54 girl like Linda. He knew, too, how difficult a thing it was to resist the fascinating manners of the courtly Spaniard. All these things caused him to sorrow, and this sorrow so fed upon his heart that he resolved to get to Madrid with all speed and rescue her from so tyrannical a parent, though it cost him his life. But he was suddenly taken sick of a fever, which, in addition to well-nigh carrying him to the grave, left his intellect in a deranged55 state, and so reduced him in body that his friends resolved he had only a month or so more for this world. I had watched over Leon, and but for my poverty would have remained by his bedside until death separated us. It was my necessities, sir, that compelled me to join you.--"
"By my honor, friend Tickler," interrupted the general, approvingly, "I will now swear you make a good soldier; for such faith is rarely met outside of the profession to which I belong."
"As to that," resumed Mr. Tickler, "your great experience in these matters must make you the better judge. It then got (I turn now to Linda and Leon) into the papers that Leon was dead. And though I know not by what process this was effected, I can tell you that many obituaries56 were written in respect of him. Seeing that he had been so honorably disposed of by the editors, Leon held it better not to contradict the report, but as soon as he was in possession of sufficient strength, to leave in disguise for the scene where he would welcome death or win the prize for which his heart yearned57.
"Judge, then, of my surprise when I recognized Linda in the lovely creature who played with so much skill, and sang so sweetly. Our recognition was mutual58, for I stood where the shadow of the moonbeams played over my face. 'Heavens!' says I, 'how can I rescue her?' I saw she was not free, but rather the victim of a heart burdened with cares. My next thought was how to communicate with her. I retired59 to a little cottage close by, where I wrote a note on tissue paper, proposing an appointment on the following day, and secured it to the stem of a rosebud60. Then I found a poor woman, a Savoyard, playing on her harp37 in the street; and having read that these women were accustomed to performing such parts for the rich lovers of their own country, I engaged her to play under the window until she had so attracted the attention of Linda as to make her understand by signs what was in the bud. This she engaged to do in a manner that would make success certain. She then repaired to the task; and having played several airs from the opera of Linda of Chamouni with great artistic61 skill, soon brought Linda to the window, where she at first listened as if she were taking lessons of a master, but soon changed her listening to surprise at the singular signs made by the woman between the airs. The mystery was dissolved when I again appeared at the front gate and stood in the shadow of the moonbeams. Linda declared she would not be content until the poor Savoyard was got into the house, averring62 that as she had never before heard such exquisite playing, she was anxious to ask the woman some questions concerning her history. To please Linda, then, she was got into the house, where, embracing a favorable moment, she slipped the bud into Linda's hand. I had suggested a place of meeting at twelve o'clock on the following day; and I leave to your conjecture63 what took place up to that time. Let me tell you, then, that she escaped from the house through the aid of a faithful servant, and we met, exchanged our joys as never did brother and sister; yes, we unburdened our hearts and gave each other accounts of all that had passed since the night Leon attempted to rescue her from her chamber.
"Linda had not been to Madrid, but Cuba; and the letter to Leon was nothing more than a cruel fabrication of her parents, who had persuaded her that he was dead, and produced papers recording64 his death in proof of their declarations. When I discovered to her that Leon was still alive, she fell upon her knees and beseeched me to speed with her to him. I knew and felt my duty to the nation; but the request of this lovely girl was something the gallantry of my soul could not refuse."
The general, who had listened attentively65 while sipping66 his punch, interrupted, saying, "I reverence67 your magnanimity, young man, and am glad to see that you had no thought of appropriating the prize to yourself. I am glad, too, that you had an eye to how much the nation might suffer by this love affair."
"Says I to myself," resumed the secretary, "'Orlando Tickler! now it's between the nation and this fair girl-choose which you will let go to ruin. Faith, the nation is well enough,' says I, 'and here goes to do my duty by this distressed68 damsel. And with nothing but what she had on her back, and a purse of gold, we turned our backs upon Baltimore, and like doves chased by sportsmen, proceeded with all speed to Leon, who had taken up his abode69 at an airy villa70 on the banks of the Hudson. And here again I will leave to your conjecture what took place when they met; and conclude by saying that I went mad with joy on seeing them locked in each other's arms. And while New York was being searched in vain by the friends of her unyielding parents, I saw them made one twain by the village parson; then I left them as happy a couple as ever mingled71 love, and sought you, intending to ask forgiveness. You have it all, sir; and may Heaven reward you for the forgiveness you have vouchsafed72 me."
And now, the time for the general's departure having arrived, old Battle was got safely on board, when this wonderful politician, soldier, and diplomatist, and his clever secretary, set sail for the Kaloramas; and when they had proceeded on their voyage for some weeks met with so serious an accident that the writer of this faithful history deems it proper that he should record it in the next chapter.
It ought also to be mentioned here that the general, out of sheer respect to his honesty as a critic, appointed Easley guardian73 to his gifted pig, whose earnings74 he promised to transmit to Polly Potter instead of the unfathomable depths of the "Bleeding Kansas Fund."
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incurred
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| [医]招致的，遭受的； incur的过去式 | |
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elongating
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| v.延长，加长( elongate的现在分词 ) | |
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functionary
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| n.官员；公职人员 | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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idol
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| n.偶像，红人，宠儿 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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complexion
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alabaster
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| adj.雪白的；n.雪花石膏；条纹大理石 | |
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chiseled
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| adj.凿刻的，轮廓分明的v.凿，雕，镌( chisel的过去式 ) | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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ancestry
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| n.祖先，家世 | |
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vent
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tenor
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| n.男高音（歌手），次中音（乐器），要旨，大意 | |
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enjoining
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displeased
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| a.不快的 | |
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deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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regained
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| 复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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incurable
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| adj.不能医治的，不能矫正的，无救的；n.不治的病人，无救的人 | |
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confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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insanity
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spurned
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| v.一脚踢开，拒绝接受( spurn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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pelting
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| 微不足道的，无价值的，盛怒的 | |
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drenched
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| adj.湿透的；充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 )；在某人（某物）上大量使用（某液体） | |
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adverse
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| adj.不利的；有害的；敌对的，不友好的 | |
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anticipations
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| 预期( anticipation的名词复数 )； 预测； （信托财产收益的）预支； 预期的事物 | |
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swelling
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| n.肿胀 | |
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dint
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| n.由于，靠；凹坑 | |
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exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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ascending
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| adj.上升的，向上的 | |
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throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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harp
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| n.竖琴；天琴座 | |
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gale
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| n.大风，强风，一阵闹声（尤指笑声等） | |
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circumference
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| n.圆周，周长，圆周线 | |
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pickle
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| n.腌汁，泡菜；v.腌，泡 | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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enraged
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| 使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 )； 歜； 激愤 | |
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larch
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| n.落叶松 | |
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vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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plight
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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concealment
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| n.隐藏, 掩盖，隐瞒 | |
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derange
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| v.使精神错乱 | |
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mere
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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impulsive
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| adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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deranged
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| adj.疯狂的 | |
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obituaries
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| 讣告，讣闻( obituary的名词复数 ) | |
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yearned
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| 渴望，切盼，向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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rosebud
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| n.蔷薇花蕾，妙龄少女 | |
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artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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averring
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| v.断言( aver的现在分词 )；证实；证明…属实；作为事实提出 | |
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conjecture
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| n./v.推测，猜测 | |
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recording
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| n.录音，记录 | |
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attentively
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| adv.聚精会神地；周到地；谛；凝神 | |
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sipping
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| v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的现在分词 ) | |
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67
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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68
distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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69
abode
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| n.住处，住所 | |
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70
villa
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| n.别墅，城郊小屋 | |
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71
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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72
vouchsafed
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| v.给予，赐予( vouchsafe的过去式和过去分词 )；允诺 | |
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73
guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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74
earnings
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| n.工资收人；利润，利益，所得 | |
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