After no long stay in this scene,—finding Downing Street dead as stone to the Slave-Education and to all other schemes,—he went across, with his wife and child, to Germany; purposing to make not so much a tour as some loose ramble4, or desultory5 residence in that country, in the Rhineland first of all. Here was to be hoped the picturesque6 in scenery, which he much affected7; here the new and true in speculation8, which he inwardly longed for and wanted greatly more; at all events, here as readily as elsewhere might a temporary household be struck up, under interesting circumstances.—I conclude he went across in the Spring of 1833; perhaps directly after Arthur Coningsby had got through the press. This Novel, which, as we have said, was begun two or three years ago, probably on his cessation from the Athenaeum, and was mainly finished, I think, before the removal to St. Vincent, had by this time fallen as good as obsolete9 to his own mind; and its destination now, whether to the press or to the fire, was in some sort a matter at once of difficulty and of insignificance10 to him. At length deciding for the milder alternative, he had thrown in some completing touches here and there,—especially, as I conjecture11, a proportion of Coleridgean moonshine at the end; and so sent it forth12.
It was in the sunny days, perhaps in May or June of this year, that Arthur Coningsby reached my own hand, far off amid the heathy wildernesses13; sent by John Mill: and I can still recollect14 the pleasant little episode it made in my solitude15 there. The general impression it left on me, which has never since been renewed by a second reading in whole or in part, was the certain prefigurement to myself, more or less distinct, of an opulent, genial16 and sunny mind, but misdirected, disappointed, experienced in misery;—nay17 crude and hasty; mistaking for a solid outcome from its woes18 what was only to me a gilded19 vacuity20. The hero an ardent21 youth, representing Sterling himself, plunges22 into life such as we now have it in these anarchic times, with the radical23, utilitarian24, or mutinous25 heathen theory, which is the readiest for inquiring souls; finds, by various courses of adventure, utter shipwreck26 in this; lies broken, very wretched: that is the tragic28 nodus, or apogee29 of his life-course. In this mood of mind, he clutches desperately30 towards some new method (recognizable as Coleridge's) of laying hand again on the old Church, which has hitherto been extraneous31 and as if non-extant to his way of thought; makes out, by some Coleridgean legedermain, that there actually is still a Church for him; that this extant Church, which he long took for an extinct shadow, is not such, but a substance; upon which he can anchor himself amid the storms of fate;—and he does so, even taking orders in it, I think. Such could by no means seem to me the true or tenable solution. Here clearly, struggling amid the tumults32, was a lovable young fellow-soul; who had by no means yet got to land; but of whom much might be hoped, if he ever did. Some of the delineations are highly pictorial33, flooded with a deep ruddy effulgence34; betokening35 much wealth, in the crude or the ripe state. The hope of perhaps, one day, knowing Sterling, was welcome and interesting to me. Arthur Coningsby, struggling imperfectly in a sphere high above circulating-library novels, gained no notice whatever in that quarter; gained, I suppose in a few scattered36 heads, some such recognition as the above; and there rested. Sterling never mentioned the name of it in my hearing, or would hear it mentioned.
In those very days while Arthur Coningsby was getting read amid the Scottish moors37, "in June, 1833," Sterling, at Bonn in the Rhine-country, fell in with his old tutor and friend, the Reverend Julius Hare; one with whom he always delighted to communicate, especially on such topics as then altogether occupied him. A man of cheerful serious character, of much approved accomplishment38, of perfect courtesy; surely of much piety39, in all senses of that word. Mr. Hare had quitted his scholastic40 labors41 and distinctions, some time ago; the call or opportunity for taking orders having come; and as Rector of Herstmonceux in Sussex, a place patrimonially and otherwise endeared to him, was about entering, under the best omens42, on a new course of life. He was now on his return from Rome, and a visit of some length to Italy. Such a meeting could not but be welcome and important to Sterling in such a mood. They had much earnest conversation, freely communing on the highest matters; especially of Sterling's purpose to undertake the clerical profession, in which course his reverend friend could not but bid him good speed.
It appears, Sterling already intimated his intention to become a clergyman: He would study theology, biblicalities, perfect himself in the knowledge seemly or essential for his new course;—read diligently43 "for a year or two in some good German University," then seek to obtain orders: that was his plan. To which Mr. Hare gave his hearty44 Euge; adding that if his own curacy happened then to be vacant, he should be well pleased to have Sterling in that office. So they parted.
"A year or two" of serious reflection "in some good German University," or anywhere in the world, might have thrown much elucidation46 upon these confused strugglings and purposings of Sterling's, and probably have spared him some confusion in his subsequent life. But the talent of waiting was, of all others, the one he wanted most. Impetuous velocity47, all-hoping headlong alacrity48, what we must call rashness and impatience49, characterized him in most of his important and unimportant procedures; from the purpose to the execution there was usually but one big leap with him. A few months after Mr. Hare was gone, Sterling wrote that his purposes were a little changed by the late meeting at Bonn; that he now longed to enter the Church straightway: that if the Herstmonceux Curacy was still vacant, and the Rector's kind thought towards him still held, he would instantly endeavor to qualify himself for that office.
Answer being in the affirmative on both heads, Sterling returned to England; took orders,—"ordained deacon at Chichester on Trinity Sunday in 1834" (he never became technically50 priest):—and so, having fitted himself and family with a reasonable house, in one of those leafy lanes in quiet Herstmonceux, on the edge of Pevensey Level, he commenced the duties of his Curacy.
The bereaved51 young lady has taken the veil, then! Even so. "Life is growing all so dark and brutal52; must be redeemed53 into human, if it will continue life. Some pious54 heroism55, to give a human color to life again, on any terms,"—even on impossible ones!
To such length can transcendental moonshine, cast by some morbidly56 radiating Coleridge into the chaos57 of a fermenting58 life, act magically there, and produce divulsions and convulsions and diseased developments. So dark and abstruse59, without lamp or authentic60 finger-post, is the course of pious genius towards the Eternal Kingdoms grown. No fixed61 highway more; the old spiritual highways and recognized paths to the Eternal, now all torn up and flung in heaps, submerged in unutterable boiling mud-oceans of Hypocrisy62 and Unbelievability, of brutal living Atheism63 and damnable dead putrescent Cant45: surely a tragic pilgrimage for all mortals; Darkness, and the mere64 shadow of Death, enveloping65 all things from pole to pole; and in the raging gulf-currents, offering us will-o'-wisps for loadstars,—intimating that there are no stars, nor ever were, except certain Old-Jew ones which have now gone out. Once more, a tragic pilgrimage for all mortals; and for the young pious soul, winged with genius, and passionately66 seeking land, and passionately abhorrent67 of floating carrion68 withal, more tragical69 than for any!—A pilgrimage we must all undertake nevertheless, and make the best of with our respective means. Some arrive; a glorious few: many must be lost,—go down upon the floating wreck27 which they took for land. Nay, courage! These also, so far as there was any heroism in them, have bequeathed their life as a contribution to us, have valiantly70 laid their bodies in the chasm71 for us: of these also there is no ray of heroism lost,—and, on the whole, what else of them could or should be "saved" at any time? Courage, and ever Forward!
Concerning this attempt of Sterling's to find sanctuary72 in the old Church, and desperately grasp the hem2 of her garment in such manner, there will at present be many opinions: and mine must be recorded here in flat reproval of it, in mere pitying condemnation73 of it, as a rash, false, unwise and unpermitted step. Nay, among the evil lessons of his Time to poor Sterling, I cannot but account this the worst; properly indeed, as we may say, the apotheosis74, the solemn apology and consecration75, of all the evil lessons that were in it to him. Alas76, if we did remember the divine and awful nature of God's Truth, and had not so forgotten it as poor doomed77 creatures never did before,—should we, durst we in our most audacious moments, think of wedding it to the World's Untruth, which is also, like all untruths, the Devil's? Only in the world's last lethargy can such things be done, and accounted safe and pious! Fools! "Do you think the Living God is a buzzard idol," sternly asks Milton, that you dare address Him in this manner?—Such darkness, thick sluggish78 clouds of cowardice79 and oblivious80 baseness, have accumulated on us: thickening as if towards the eternal sleep! It is not now known, what never needed proof or statement before, that Religion is not a doubt; that it is a certainty,—or else a mockery and horror. That none or all of the many things we are in doubt about, and need to have demonstrated and rendered probable, can by any alchemy be made a "Religion" for us; but are and must continue a baleful, quiet or unquiet, Hypocrisy for us; and bring—salvation, do we fancy? I think, it is another thing they will bring, and are, on all hands, visibly bringing this good while!—
The time, then, with its deliriums, has done its worst for poor Sterling. Into deeper aberration81 it cannot lead him; this is the crowning error. Happily, as beseems the superlative of errors, it was a very brief, almost a momentary82 one. In June, 1834, Sterling dates as installed at Herstmonceux; and is flinging, as usual, his whole soul into the business; successfully so far as outward results could show: but already in September, he begins to have misgivings83; and in February following, quits it altogether,—the rest of his life being, in great part, a laborious84 effort of detail to pick the fragments of it off him, and be free of it in soul as well as in title.
At this the extreme point of spiritual deflexion and depression, when the world's madness, unusually impressive on such a man, has done its very worst with him, and in all future errors whatsoever85 he will be a little less mistaken, we may close the First Part of Sterling's Life.
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1
sterling
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| adj.英币的(纯粹的，货真价实的)；n.英国货币(英镑) | |
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hem
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| n.贴边，镶边；vt.缝贴边；(in)包围，限制 | |
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considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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ramble
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| v.漫步，漫谈，漫游；n.漫步，闲谈，蔓延 | |
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desultory
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| adj.散漫的，无方法的 | |
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picturesque
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| adj.美丽如画的，（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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speculation
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| n.思索，沉思；猜测；投机 | |
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obsolete
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| adj.已废弃的，过时的 | |
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insignificance
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| n.不重要；无价值；无意义 | |
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conjecture
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| n./v.推测，猜测 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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wildernesses
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| 荒野( wilderness的名词复数 )； 沙漠； （政治家）在野； 不再当政（或掌权） | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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woes
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| 困境( woe的名词复数 )； 悲伤； 我好苦哇； 某人就要倒霉 | |
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gilded
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| a.镀金的，富有的 | |
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vacuity
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| n.(想象力等)贫乏，无聊，空白 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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plunges
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| n.跳进，投入vt.使投入，使插入，使陷入vi.投入，跳进，陷入v.颠簸( plunge的第三人称单数 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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radical
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| n.激进份子，原子团，根号；adj.根本的，激进的，彻底的 | |
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utilitarian
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| adj.实用的，功利的 | |
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mutinous
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| adj.叛变的，反抗的；adv.反抗地，叛变地；n.反抗，叛变 | |
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shipwreck
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| n.船舶失事，海难 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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apogee
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| n.远地点；极点；顶点 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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extraneous
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| adj.体外的；外来的；外部的 | |
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tumults
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| 吵闹( tumult的名词复数 )； 喧哗； 激动的吵闹声； 心烦意乱 | |
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pictorial
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| adj.绘画的；图片的；n．画报 | |
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effulgence
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| n.光辉 | |
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betokening
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| v.预示，表示( betoken的现在分词 ) | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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moors
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| v.停泊，系泊（船只）( moor的第三人称单数 ) | |
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accomplishment
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| n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能 | |
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piety
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| n.虔诚，虔敬 | |
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40
scholastic
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| adj.学校的，学院的，学术上的 | |
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labors
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| v.努力争取(for)( labor的第三人称单数 )；苦干；详细分析；（指引擎）缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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42
omens
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| n.前兆，预兆( omen的名词复数 ) | |
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diligently
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| ad.industriously;carefully | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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45
cant
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| n.斜穿，黑话，猛扔 | |
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elucidation
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| n.说明，阐明 | |
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velocity
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| n.速度，速率 | |
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48
alacrity
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| n.敏捷，轻快，乐意 | |
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49
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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50
technically
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| adv.专门地，技术上地 | |
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51
bereaved
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| adj.刚刚丧失亲人的v.使失去（希望、生命等）( bereave的过去式和过去分词)；（尤指死亡）使丧失（亲人、朋友等）；使孤寂；抢走（财物） | |
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52
brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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redeemed
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| adj. 可赎回的，可救赎的 动词redeem的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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54
pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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heroism
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| n.大无畏精神，英勇 | |
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morbidly
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| adv.病态地 | |
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chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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fermenting
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| v.（使）发酵( ferment的现在分词 )；（使）激动；骚动；骚扰 | |
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abstruse
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| adj.深奥的，难解的 | |
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authentic
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| a.真的，真正的；可靠的，可信的，有根据的 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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atheism
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| n.无神论，不信神 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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enveloping
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的现在分词 ) | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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abhorrent
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| adj.可恶的，可恨的，讨厌的 | |
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carrion
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| n.腐肉 | |
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tragical
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| adj. 悲剧的, 悲剧性的 | |
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valiantly
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| adv.勇敢地，英勇地；雄赳赳 | |
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chasm
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| n.深坑，断层，裂口，大分岐，利害冲突 | |
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sanctuary
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| n.圣所，圣堂，寺庙；禁猎区，保护区 | |
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condemnation
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| n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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apotheosis
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| n.神圣之理想；美化；颂扬 | |
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consecration
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| n.供献，奉献，献祭仪式 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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sluggish
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| adj.懒惰的，迟钝的，无精打采的 | |
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cowardice
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| n.胆小，怯懦 | |
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oblivious
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| adj.易忘的，遗忘的，忘却的，健忘的 | |
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aberration
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| n.离开正路，脱离常规，色差 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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laborious
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| adj.吃力的，努力的，不流畅 | |
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whatsoever
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| adv.（用于否定句中以加强语气）任何；pron.无论什么 | |
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