In one of my visits to the village with Master Simon, he proposed that we should stop at the inn, which he wished to show me, as a specimen4 of a real country inn, the head-quarters of village gossip. I had remarked it before, in my perambulations about the place. It has a deep, old-fashioned porch, leading into a large hall, which serves for tap-room and travellers' room; having a wide fireplace, with high-backed settles on each side, where the wise men of the village gossip over their ale, and hold their sessions during the long winter evenings. The landlord is an easy, indolent fellow, shaped a little like one of his own beer barrels, and is apt to stand gossiping at his door, with his wig5 on one side, and his hands in his pockets, whilst his wife and daughter attend to customers. His wife, however, is fully6 competent to manage the establishment; and, indeed, from long habitude, rules over all the frequenters of the tap-room as completely as if they were her dependants7 instead of her patrons. Not a veteran ale-bibber but pays homage8 to her, having, no doubt, been often in her arrears9. I have already hinted that she is on very good terms with Ready-Money Jack10. He was a sweetheart of hers in early life, and has always countenanced11 the tavern12 on her account. Indeed, he is quite "the cock of the walk" at the tap-room.
As we approached the inn, we heard some one talking with great volubility, and distinguished13 the ominous14 words "taxes," "poor's rates," and "agricultural distress15." It proved to be a thin, loquacious16 fellow, who had penned the landlord up in one corner of the porch, with his hands in his pockets as usual, listening with an air of the most vacant acquiescence17.
The sight seemed to have a curious effect on Master Simon, as he squeezed my arm, and, altering his course, sheered wide of the porch as though he had not had any idea of entering. This evident evasion18 induced me to notice the orator19 more particularly. He was meagre, but active in his make, with a long, pale, bilious20 face; a black, ill-shaven beard, a feverish21 eye, and a hat sharpened up at the sides into a most pragmatical shape. He had a newspaper in his hand, and seemed to be commenting on its contents, to the thorough conviction of mine host.
At sight of Master Simon the landlord was evidently a little flurried, and began to rub his hands, edge away from his corner, and make several profound publican bows; while the orator took no other notice of my companion than to talk rather louder than before, and with, as I thought, something of an air of defiance22. Master Simon, however, as I have before said, sheered off from the porch, and passed on, pressing my arm within his, and whispering as we got by, in a tone of awe23 and horror, "That's a radical24! he reads Cobbett!"
I endeavoured to get a more particular account of him from my companion, but he seemed unwilling25 even to talk about him, answering only in general terms, that he was "a cursed busy fellow, that had a confounded trick of talking, and was apt to bother one about the national debt, and such nonsense;" from which I suspected that Master Simon had been rendered wary26 of him by some accidental encounter on the field of argument: for these radicals27 are continually roving about in quest of wordy warfare28, and never so happy as when they can tilt29 a gentleman logician31 out of his saddle.
On subsequent inquiry32 my suspicions have been confirmed. I find the radical has but recently found his way into the village, where he threatens to commit fearful devastations with his doctrines33. He has already made two or three complete converts, or new lights; has shaken the faith of several others; and has grievously puzzled the brains of many of the oldest villagers, who had never thought about politics, or scarce anything else, during their whole lives.
He is lean and meagre from the constant restlessness of mind and body; worrying about with newspapers and pamphlets in his pockets, which he is ready to pull out on all occasions. He has shocked several of the staunchest villagers by talking lightly of the squire34 and his family; and hinting that it would be better the park should be cut up into small farms and kitchen gardens, or feed good mutton instead of worthless deer.
The Village Politician
He is a great thorn in the side of the squire, who is sadly afraid that he will introduce politics into the village, and turn it into an unhappy, thinking community. He is a still greater grievance35 to Master Simon, who has hitherto been able to sway the political opinions of the place, without much cost of learning or logic30; but has been very much puzzled of late to weed out the doubts and heresies36 already sown by this champion of reform. Indeed, the latter has taken complete command at the tap-room of the tavern, not so much because he has convinced, as because he has out-talked all the established oracles37. The apothecary38, with all his philosophy, was as nought39 before him. He has convinced and converted the landlord at least a dozen times; who, however, is liable to be convinced and converted the other way by the next person with whom he talks. It is true the radical has a violent antagonist40 in the landlady41, who is vehemently42 loyal, and thoroughly43 devoted44 to the king, Master Simon, and the squire. She now and then comes out upon the reformer with all the fierceness of a cat-o'-mountain, and does not spare her own soft-headed husband, for listening to what she terms such "low-lived politics." What makes the good woman the more violent, is the perfect coolness with which the radical listens to her attacks, drawing his face up into a provoking supercilious45 smile; and when she has talked herself out of breath, quietly asking her for a taste of her home-brewed.
The Landlady
The only person who is in any way a match for this redoubtable46 politician is Ready-Money Jack Tibbets, who maintains his stand in the tap-room, in defiance of the radical and all his works. Jack is one of the most loyal men in the country, without being able to reason about the matter. He has that admirable quality for a tough arguer, also, that he never knows when he is beat. He has half a dozen old maxims47, which he advances on all occasions, and though his antagonist may overturn them never so often, yet he always brings them anew into the field. He is like the robber in Ariosto, who, though his head might be cut off half a hundred times, yet whipped it on his shoulders again in a twinkling, and returned as sound a man as ever to the charge.
Whatever does not square with Jack's simple and obvious creed48, he sets down for "French politics;" for, notwithstanding the peace, he cannot be persuaded that the French are not still laying plots to ruin the nation, and to get hold of the Bank of England. The radical attempted to overwhelm him one day by a long passage from a newspaper; but Jack neither reads nor believes in newspapers. In reply he gave him one of the stanzas49 which he has by heart from his favourite, and indeed only author, old Tusser, and which he calls his Golden Rules:
"Leave Princes' affairs undescanted on,
And tend to such doings as stand thee upon;
Fear God, and offend not the King nor his laws,
And keep thyself out of the magistrate's claws."
When Tibbets had pronounced this with great emphasis, he pulled out a well-filled leathern purse, took out a handful of gold and silver, paid his score at the bar with great punctuality, returned his money, piece by piece, into his purse, his purse into his pocket, which he buttoned up, and then giving his cudgel a stout50 thump51 upon the floor, and bidding the radical "Good morning, sir!" with the tone of a man who conceives he has completely done for his antagonist, he walked with lion-like gravity out of the house. Two or three of Jack's admirers who were present, and had been afraid to take the field themselves, looked upon this as a perfect triumph, and winked52 at each other when the radical's back was turned. "Ay, ay!" said mine host, as soon as the radical was out of hearing, "let old Jack alone; I'll warrant he'll give him his own!"
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1
rogue
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| n.流氓；v.游手好闲 | |
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stratagems
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| n.诡计，计谋( stratagem的名词复数 )；花招 | |
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faction
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| n.宗派，小集团；派别；派系斗争 | |
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specimen
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| n.样本，标本 | |
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wig
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| n.假发 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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7
dependants
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| 受赡养者，受扶养的家属( dependant的名词复数 ) | |
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8
homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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9
arrears
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| n.到期未付之债，拖欠的款项；待做的工作 | |
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10
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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11
countenanced
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| v.支持，赞同，批准( countenance的过去式 ) | |
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tavern
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| n.小旅馆，客栈；小酒店 | |
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13
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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14
ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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16
loquacious
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| adj.多嘴的，饶舌的 | |
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17
acquiescence
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| n.默许；顺从 | |
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18
evasion
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| n.逃避，偷漏(税) | |
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19
orator
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| n.演说者，演讲者，雄辩家 | |
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20
bilious
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| adj.胆汁过多的；易怒的 | |
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feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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radical
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| n.激进份子，原子团，根号；adj.根本的，激进的，彻底的 | |
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25
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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wary
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| adj.谨慎的，机警的，小心的 | |
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radicals
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| n.激进分子( radical的名词复数 )；根基；基本原理；[数学]根数 | |
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28
warfare
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| n.战争(状态)；斗争；冲突 | |
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29
tilt
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| v.(使)倾侧；(使)倾斜；n.倾侧；倾斜 | |
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30
logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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31
logician
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| n.逻辑学家 | |
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32
inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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33
doctrines
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| n.教条( doctrine的名词复数 )；教义；学说；（政府政策的）正式声明 | |
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squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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35
grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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36
heresies
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| n.异端邪说，异教( heresy的名词复数 ) | |
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oracles
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| 神示所( oracle的名词复数 )； 神谕； 圣贤； 哲人 | |
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apothecary
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| n.药剂师 | |
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39
nought
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| n.／adj.无，零 | |
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40
antagonist
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| n.敌人，对抗者，对手 | |
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41
landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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42
vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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43
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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44
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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45
supercilious
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| adj.目中无人的，高傲的；adv.高傲地；n.高傲 | |
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46
redoubtable
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| adj.可敬的；可怕的 | |
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47
maxims
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| n.格言，座右铭( maxim的名词复数 ) | |
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48
creed
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| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
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49
stanzas
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| 节，段( stanza的名词复数 ) | |
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51
thump
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| v.重击，砰然地响；n.重击，重击声 | |
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52
winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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