RETRIBUTION

 In future I am going to be careful what I do. I am also—and this is by no means less important—going to be very careful what Miss Dolly Foster does. Everybody knows (if I may quote her particular friend Nellie Phaeton) that dear Dolly means no harm, but she is “just a little harumscarum.” I thanked Miss Phaeton for the expression.

 

The fact is that “old lady M.” (Here I quote Miss Dolly) sent for me the other day. I have not the honor of knowing the Countess, and I went in some trepidation¹. When I was ushered² in, Lady Mickleham put up her “starers.” (You know those abominations! Pince-nez with long torture—I mean tortoise—shell handles.)

 

“Mr.—er—Carter?” said she.

 

I bowed. I would have denied it if I could.

 

“My dears!” said Lady Mickleham.

 

Upon this five young ladies who had been sitting in five straight-backed chairs, doing five pieces of embroidery³, rose, bowed, and filed out of the room. I felt very nervous.

 

A pause followed. Then the Countess observed—and it seemed at first rather irrelevant—

 

“I’ve been reading an unpleasant story.”

 

“In these days of French influence,” I began apologetically (not that I write such stories, or any stories, but Lady Mickleham invites an apologetic attitude), and my eye wandered to the table. I saw nothing worse (or better) than the morning paper there.

 

“Contained in a friend’s letter,” she continued, focusing the “starers” full on my face.

 

I did not know what to do, so I bowed again.

 

“It must have been as painful for her to write as for me to read,” Lady Mickleham went on. “And that is saying much. Be seated, pray.”

 

I bowed, and sat down in one of the straight-back chairs. I also began, in my fright, to play with one of the pieces of embroidery.

 

“Is Lady Jane’s work in your way?” (Lady Jane is named after Jane, the famous Countess, Lady-in-Waiting to Caroline of Anspach.)

 

I dropped the embroidery, and put my foot on my hat.

 

“I believe, Mr. Carter, that you are acquainted with Miss Dorothea Foster?”

 

“I have that pleasure,” said I.

 

“Who is about to be married to my son, the Earl of Mickleham?”

 

“That, I believe, is so,” said I. I was beginning to pull myself together.

 

“My son, Mr. Carter, is of a simple and trusting disposition⁴. Perhaps I had better come to the point. I am informed by this letter that, in conversation with the writer the other day, Archibald mentioned, quite incidentally, some very startling facts. Those facts concern you, Mr. Carter.”

 

“May I ask the name of the writer?”

 

“I do not think that is necessary,” said she. “She is a lady in whom I have the utmost confidence.”

 

“That is, of course, enough,” said I.

 

“It appears, Mr. Carter—and you will excuse me if I speak plainly—(I set my teeth) that you have, in the first place, given to my son’s bride a wedding present, which I can only describe as—”

 

“A pearl ornament,” I interposed; “with a ruby⁵ or two, and—”

 

“A pearl heart,” she corrected; “er—fractured, and that you explained that this absurd article represented your heart.”

 

“Mere badinage,” said I.

 

“In execrably bad taste,” said she.

 

I bowed.

 

“In fact, most offensive. But that is not the worst. From my son’s further statements it appears that on one occasion, at least, he found you and Miss Foster engaged in what I can only call—”

 

I raised my hand in protest. The Countess took no notice.

 

“What I can only call romping⁶.”

 

“Romping!” I cried.

 

“A thing not only atrociously vulgar at all times, but under the circumstances—need I say more? Mr. Carter, you were engaged in chasing my son’s future bride round a table!”

 

“Pardon me, Lady Mickleham. Your son’s future bride was engaged in chasing me round a table.”

 

“It is the same thing,” said Lady Mickleham.

 

“I should have thought there was a distinction,” said I.

 

“None at all.”

 

I fell back on a second line of defense⁷.

 

“I didn’t let her catch me, Lady Mickleham,” I pleaded.

 

Lady Mickleham grew quite red. This made me feel more at my ease.

 

“No, sir. If you had—”

 

“Goodness knows!” I murmured, shaking my head.

 

“As it happened, however, my son entered in the middle of this disgraceful—”

 

“It was at the beginning,” said I, with a regretful sigh.

 

Upon this—and I have really never been so pleased at anything in all my life—the Countess, the violence of her emotions penetrating⁸ to her very fingers, gripped the handle of her “starers” with such force that she broke it in two! She was a woman of the world, and in a moment she looked as if nothing had happened. With me it was different; and that I am not now on Lady Mickleham’s visiting list is due to (inter alia et enormia) the fact that I laughed! It was out before I could help it. In a second I was as grave as a mute. The mischief⁹ was done. The Countess rose. I imitated her example.

 

“You are amused?” said she, and her tones banished¹⁰ the last of my mirth. I stumbled on my hat and it rolled to her feet.

 

“It is not probable,” she observed, “that after Miss Foster’s marriage you will meet her often. You will move in—er—somewhat different circles.”

 

“I may catch a glimpse of her in her carriage from the top of my ‘bus,” said I.

 

Lady Mickleham rang the bell. I stooped for my hat. To tell the truth, I was rather afraid to expose myself in such a defenseless attitude, but the Countess preserved her self control. The butler opened the door. I bowed, and left the Countess regarding me through the maimed “starers.” Then I found the butler smiling. He probably knew the signs of the weather. I wouldn’t be Lady Mickleham’s butler if you made me a duke.

 

As I walked home through the Park, I met Miss Dolly and Mickleham. They stopped.

 

I walked on. Mickleham seized me by the coat tails.

 

“Do you mean to cut us?” he cried.

 

“Yes,” said I.

 

“Why, what the deuce?—” he began.

 

“I’ve seen your mother,” said I. “I wish, Mickleham, that when you do happen to intrude¹¹ as you did the other day, you wouldn’t repeat what you see.”

 

“Lord!” he cried. “She’s not heard of that. I only told Aunt Cynthia.”

 

I said something about “Aunt Cynthia.”

 

“Does—does she know it all?” asked Miss Dolly.

 

“More than all—much more.”

 

“Didn’t you smooth it over?” said Miss Dolly reproachfully.

 

“On reflection,” said I, “I don’t know that I did—much.” (I hadn’t, you know.)

 

Suddenly Mickleham burst out laughing.

 

“What a game!” he exclaimed.

 

“That’s all very well for you,” said Dolly. “But do you happen to remember that we dine there tonight?” Archie grew grave.

 

“I hope you’ll enjoy yourselves,” said I. “I always cling to the belief that the wicked are punished.” And I looked at Miss Dolly.

 

“Never you mind, little woman,” said Archie, drawing Miss Dolly’s arm through his, “I’ll see you through. After all, everybody knows that old Carter’s an ass¹².”

 

That piece of universal knowledge may help matters, but I do not quite see how. I walked on, for Miss Dolly had quite forgotten me, and was looking up at Archie Mickleham like—well, hang it, in the way they do, you know. So I just walked on.

 

I believe Miss Dolly has got a husband who is (let us say) good enough for her. And, for one reason and another, I am glad of it. And I also believe that she knows it. And I am—I suppose—glad of that, too. Oh, yes, of course, I am. Of course.

1 trepidation   

n.惊恐，惶恐

参考例句：

• The men set off in fear and trepidation.这群人惊慌失措地出发了。
• The threat of an epidemic caused great alarm and trepidation.流行病猖獗因而人心惶惶。

2 ushered   

v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The secretary ushered me into his office. 秘书把我领进他的办公室。
• A round of parties ushered in the New Year. 一系列的晚会迎来了新年。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 embroidery   

n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品

参考例句：

• This exquisite embroidery won people's great admiration.这件精美的绣品，使人惊叹不已。
• This is Jane's first attempt at embroidery.这是简第一次试着绣花。

4 disposition   

n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署

参考例句：

• He has made a good disposition of his property.他已对财产作了妥善处理。
• He has a cheerful disposition.他性情开朗。

5 ruby   

n.红宝石，红宝石色

参考例句：

• She is wearing a small ruby earring.她戴着一枚红宝石小耳环。
• On the handle of his sword sat the biggest ruby in the world.他的剑柄上镶有一颗世上最大的红宝石。

6 romping   

adj.嬉戏喧闹的，乱蹦乱闹的v.嬉笑玩闹( romp的现在分词 )；（尤指在赛跑或竞选等中）轻易获胜

参考例句：

• kids romping around in the snow 在雪地里嬉戏喧闹的孩子
• I found the general romping in the living room with his five children. 我发现将军在客厅里与他的五个小孩嬉戏。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

7 defense   

n.防御，保卫；[pl.]防务工事；辩护，答辩

参考例句：

• The accused has the right to defense.被告人有权获得辩护。
• The war has impacted the area with military and defense workers.战争使那个地区挤满了军队和防御工程人员。

8 penetrating   

adj.（声音）响亮的，尖锐的adj.（气味）刺激的adj.（思想）敏锐的，有洞察力的

参考例句：

• He had an extraordinarily penetrating gaze. 他的目光有股异乎寻常的洞察力。
• He examined the man with a penetrating gaze. 他以锐利的目光仔细观察了那个人。

9 mischief   

n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹

参考例句：

• Nobody took notice of the mischief of the matter. 没有人注意到这件事情所带来的危害。
• He seems to intend mischief.看来他想捣蛋。

10 banished   

v.放逐，驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He was banished to Australia, where he died five years later. 他被流放到澳大利亚，五年后在那里去世。
• He was banished to an uninhabited island for a year. 他被放逐到一个无人居住的荒岛一年。 来自《简明英汉词典》

11 intrude   

vi.闯入；侵入；打扰，侵扰

参考例句：

• I do not want to intrude if you are busy.如果你忙我就不打扰你了。
• I don't want to intrude on your meeting.我不想打扰你们的会议。

12 ass   

n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人

参考例句：

• He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
• An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。