The first sign that I had that something was going wrong with me was a swimming in my head—so sudden and so violent that I lurched forward and was close to pitching over the rail of the bridge into the sea. For a moment I fancied that the ship had taken a quick plunge6; and then a sick feeling in my own stomach, and a blurring7 of my eyes that made everything seem misty8 and shadowy, settled for me the fact that it was I who was reeling about and that the ship was still—and I had sense enough to lie down at full length on the bridge, between the wheel-house and the rail, where I was safe against rolling off. And then the shadows about me got deeper and blacker, and a horrible sense of oppression came over me, and I seemed to be falling endlessly while myriads9 of black specks10 arranged themselves in curious geometrical figures before my eyes—and then the black specks and everything else vanished suddenly, and my consciousness left me with what seemed to me a great crash and bang.
Had I begun matters by being roundly sick I might have pulled through my attack without being much the worse for it. But as that did not happen—my weakness, I suppose, not giving nature a chance to set things right in her own way—I had a good deal more to suffer before I began to mend. After a while I got enough of my senses back to know that my head was aching as though it would split open, and to realize how utterly11 miserable12 I was lying there on the bridge with the hot sunshine simmering down on me through the haze13; and then to think how delightful14 it would be if only I were back in the cabin again—where the sun could not stew15 me, and where my berth16 would be easy and soft.
How I managed to get to the cabin I scarcely know. I faintly remember working my way along the bridge on my hands and knees, and going backward down the steps in the same fashion for fear of falling; and of trying to walk upright when I got to the deck, so that I should not get wet above my knees in the water there, and of falling souse into it and getting soaked all over; and then of crawling aft very slowly—stopping now and then because of my pain and dizziness—and down the companion-way and through the passage, and so into the cabin at last; and then, all in my wet clothes, of tumbling anyhow into my berth—and after that there is only a long dead blank.
When I caught up with myself again, night had come and I was in pitch darkness. My head still ached horridly17, and I was burning hot all over, and yet from time to time shivering with creeping chills. What I wanted most in the world was a drink of water; but when I tried to get up, in the hope of finding some in the jug18 that no doubt was in the state-room, I went so dizzy that I had to plump back into my berth again. As the night went on, and I lay there thinking how deliciously the water would taste going cool and sweet down my throat, I got quite crazy with longing19 for it; and, in a way, really crazy—for through most of the night I was light-headed and saw visions that sometimes comforted me and sometimes made me afraid. The comforting ones were of fresh green meadows with streams running through them, and of shady glens in the woods where springs welled up into little basins surrounded by ferns—just such as I remembered in the woods which bordered the creek20 where I used to go swimming when I was a boy. The horrible ones were not clear at all, and for that were the more dreadful—being of a fire that was getting nearer and nearer to me, and of a blazing sun that fairly withered21 me, and of huge hot globes or ponderously22 vague masses of I knew not what which were coming straight on to crush me and from which I could not get away.
At last I got so worn out with it all that I fell off into an uneasy sleep, which yet was better than no sleep and a little rested me. When I woke again there was enough light in the room for me to see the water-jug, and that gave me strength to get to it—and most blessedly it was nearly full. And so I had a long drink, that for a time checked the heat of my fever; and then I lay down in my berth again, with the jug on the floor at my side.
For a while I was almost comfortable. Then the fever came back, and the visions with it—but no longer so painful as those which had been begotten23 of my thirst. I seemed to be in a region dreamy and unreal. Sometimes I would see far stretches of mountain peaks, and sometimes the crowded streets of cities; but for the most part my visions were of the sea—tall ships sailing, and little boats drifting over calm water in moonlight, and black steamers gliding24 quickly past me; and still more frequently, but always in a calm sea, the broken hulks of wrecked26 ships with shattered masts and tangled27 rigging and with dead men lying about their decks, and sometimes with a dead man hanging across the wheel and moving a little with the hulk's motion so that in a horrible sort of way he seemed to be half alive.
Night came again, bringing me more pain and the burning of a stronger fever; and then another day, in which the fever rose still higher and the visions became almost intolerable—because of their intense reality, and of my conviction all the while that they were unreal and that I must be well on the way toward a raving29 madness in which I would die.
It was at the end of this day—or it may have been at the end of still another day, for I have no clear reckoning of how the time passed—that my worst vision came to me; hurting me not because it was terrifying in itself, but because it made me feel that even hope had parted company with me at last. And it was more like a dream than a vision, seemingly being brought to my sight by my own bodily movement—not something which floated before my eyes as I lay still.
As the afternoon went on my fever increased a good deal; but in a way that was rather pleasant to me, for the pain in my head lessened30 and I seemed to be getting back my strength. After a while I began to long to get out of the cabin and up on deck, and so have a look around me over the open sea; and with my longing came the feeling that I was strong enough to realize it.
My getting up seemed entirely31 real and natural, as did my firm walking—without a touch of dizziness—after I fairly was on my feet; and all the rest of it seemed real too. Even when I came to the companion-way I seemed to go up the stairs easily, and to step out on the deck as steadily as though I had been entirely well.
The sun was near setting, but as I came on the deck my back was toward the sunset and I saw only its red light touching32 the soft swell33 of the weed-covered sea extending far before me, and the same red light shimmering34 in the mist and caught up more strongly on a bank of low-lying clouds. The outlook was much the same as that which I had had from the bridge, only the weed seemed to be packed more closely and there was wreckage35 about me everywhere. Masts and spars and planks36 were in sight in all directions, sometimes floating singly and sometimes tangled together in little heaps; half a mile away was what seemed to be a large ship lying bottom upward; near me was a perfectly37 sound boat, having in its stern-sheets a bit of sail that fell in such folds as to make me think that a human form lay under it; and off toward the horizon was a large raft, with a sort of mast fitted to it, and at the foot of the mast I fancied that I saw a woman in a white robe of some sort stretched out as though asleep. And it seemed to me, though I could not tell why, that all this flotsam, and my own hulk along with it, slowly was drifting closer and closer together; and was packing tighter and tighter in the soft oozy38 tangle28 of the weed, which everywhere was matted so thickly that the water did not show at all.
Then I seemed to walk around to the other side of my hulk and to look down into the west—and to feel all hope dying with the sight that I saw there. Far away, under the red mist, across the red gleaming weed and against a sunset sky bloody39 red, I seemed to see a vast ruinous congregation of wrecks40; so far-extending that it was as though all the wrecked ships in the world were lying huddled41 together there in a miserably42 desolate43 company. And with sight of them the certain conviction was borne in upon me that my own wreck25 presently would take its station in that shattered fleet for which there was no salvation44; and that it would lie among them rotting slowly, as they were rotting, through months or years—until finally, in its turn, it would drop down from amidst those lepers of the ocean, and would sink with all its foulness45 upon it into the black depths beneath the oozy weed.
And I knew, too, that whether I already were dead and went down with it, or saved my life for a while longer by getting aboard of another hulk which still floated, sooner or later my end must come to me in that same way. On one or another of those rotting dead ships my own dead body surely must sink at last.
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1
heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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3
scraps
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| 油渣 | |
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digestion
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| n.消化，吸收 | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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plunge
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| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
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7
blurring
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| n.模糊，斑点甚多，（图像的）混乱v.（使）变模糊( blur的现在分词 )；（使）难以区分 | |
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8
misty
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| adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的 | |
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9
myriads
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| n.无数，极大数量( myriad的名词复数 ) | |
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10
specks
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| n.眼镜；斑点，微粒，污点( speck的名词复数 ) | |
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11
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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13
haze
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| n.霾，烟雾；懵懂，迷糊；vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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14
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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15
stew
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| n.炖汤，焖，烦恼；v.炖汤，焖，忧虑 | |
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16
berth
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| n.卧铺，停泊地，锚位；v.使停泊 | |
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17
horridly
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| 可怕地，讨厌地 | |
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18
jug
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| n.(有柄，小口，可盛水等的)大壶，罐，盂 | |
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19
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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creek
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| n.小溪，小河，小湾 | |
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21
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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22
ponderously
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23
begotten
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| v.为…之生父( beget的过去分词 )；产生，引起 | |
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24
gliding
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| v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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26
wrecked
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| adj.失事的，遇难的 | |
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27
tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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28
tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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29
raving
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| adj.说胡话的；疯狂的，怒吼的；非常漂亮的；令人醉心[痴心]的v.胡言乱语(rave的现在分词)n.胡话；疯话adv.胡言乱语地；疯狂地 | |
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30
lessened
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| 减少的，减弱的 | |
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31
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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32
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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33
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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34
shimmering
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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35
wreckage
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| n.（失事飞机等的）残骸，破坏，毁坏 | |
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36
planks
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| （厚）木板( plank的名词复数 )； 政纲条目，政策要点 | |
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37
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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38
oozy
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| adj.软泥的 | |
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39
bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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40
wrecks
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| n.沉船( wreck的名词复数 )；（事故中）遭严重毁坏的汽车（或飞机等）；（身体或精神上）受到严重损伤的人；状况非常糟糕的车辆（或建筑物等）v.毁坏[毁灭]某物( wreck的第三人称单数 )；使（船舶）失事，使遇难，使下沉 | |
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41
huddled
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| 挤在一起（huddle的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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42
miserably
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| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
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43
desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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44
salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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45
foulness
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| n. 纠缠, 卑鄙 | |
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