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CHAPTER XI. DRAWN TWO WAYS
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"When Love wants this, and Pain wants that,
And all our hearts want Tit for Tat."
 
Matthew Browne
Gratian almost danced along the moor1 path on his way home that evening; he felt so happy. Never had he loved Fergus and his mother so much—he could not now understand how he had ever lived without them, and like a child he did not think of how he ever could do so. He let the future take care of itself.
 
It was cold of course. He rather fancied that White-wings was not far off, and once or twice he stood still to listen. It was some little time now since he had heard anything of his friends. But at first nothing met his ear, and he ran on.
 
Suddenly a breath—a waft2 rather of soft air blew over his face. It was not White-wings, and most[Pg 151] certainly not Gray-wings. Gratian looked up in surprise—he could hardly expect the soft western sister on such a cold night.
 
"Yes, it is I," she said; "you can hardly believe it, can you? I am only passing by—no one else will know I have been here. I don't generally come when you are in such merry spirits—I don't feel that you need me then. But as I was not so very far off, I thought I'd give you a kiss on my way. So you told them the sea-gull's story—I am glad they liked it."
 
"Yes," said Gratian, "they did, indeed. But, Green-wings, I'm glad you've come, for I wanted to ask you, if they ask me if I made it all up myself, what can I say? I'm so afraid of telling what isn't true; but you know I couldn't explain about you and the others. I couldn't if I tried."
 
"You are not meant to do so," replied she quickly. "What have you said when Fergus has asked you about other stories?"
 
"I have said I couldn't explain how I knew them—that sometimes they were a sort of dream. I didn't want to say I had made them all myself, though I have partly made them—you know I have, Green-wings."
 
[Pg 152]
 
"Certainly—it was not I for instance, who told you the very remarkable3 fact of natural history that you related at the end of the story?" said Green-wings with her soft laugh. "You may quite take the credit of that. But I won't laugh at you, dear. It is true that they are your stories, and yet a sort of dream. No one but you could hear them—no one would say that the whispers of the wind talking language to you, are anything but the reflection of your own pretty fancies. It will be all right—you will see. But I must go," and she gave a little sigh.
 
"Green-wings, darling, you seem a little sad to-night," said Gratian. "Why is it? Is it that the winter has come?"
 
"I am never very merry, as you know. But I am a little sadder than usual to-night. I foresee—I foresee sorrows"—and her voice breathed out the words with such an exquisite4 plaintiveness5 that they sounded like the dying away notes of a dirge6. "But keep up your heart, my darling, and trust us all—all four. We only wish your good, though we may show it in different ways. And wherever I am I can always be with you to comfort you, if it be but for a moment. No distance can separate us from our child."
 
"And I am most your child, am I not, dear Green-wings?" asked Gratian. "I knew you the first, and I think I love you the most."
 
"My darling, good-night," whispered Green-wings, and with a soft flutter she was gone.
 
There was no mother waiting at the open door for Gratian's return that evening.
 
"It is too cold for standing7 outside now," he said to himself as he went in, adding aloud, "Here I am, mother. Did you think I was late?"
 
Mrs. Conyfer was sitting by the fire. Her knitting lay on her knee, but her hands were idle. She looked up as Gratian came in.
 
"I am glad you have come, dear," she said; but her voice sounded tired, and when he was close to her he saw that her face seemed tired also.
 
 "Are you not well, mother?" he said gently.
 
Mrs. Conyfer looked a little surprised but pleased too. It was new to her either to think of how she was or to be asked about it. For though her husband was kind and good, he was plain and even a little rough, as are the moorland people in general. Gratian had never been rough, but he had not had the habit of much noticing those about him. Since he had been so often with Fergus and the lady he[Pg 153]
[Pg 154] had learnt to be more observant of others, especially of his mother, and more tender in his manner.
 
"Are you not well, mother dear?" he repeated.
 
"I'm only a bit tired, my boy," she said. "I'm getting old, I suppose, and I've worked pretty hard in my way—not to say as if I'd been a poor man's wife of course, but a farmer's wife has a deal on her mind."
 
"And you do everything so well, mother," said Gratian admiringly. "I'm getting old enough now to see how different things are here from what they are in many houses. Fergus does so like to hear about the dairy and the cocks and hens, and about the girdle cakes and all the nice things you make."
 
"He's really a nice little gentleman!" said Mrs. Conyfer, well pleased, "I am glad to hear he's getting so much better. I'm sure his mother deserves he should—such a sweet lady as she is."
 
For now and then on a Sunday the two boys' mothers had spoken to each other.
 
"Yes, he's much better," said Gratian. "To-day he walked six times up and down the terrace with only my arm."
 
"They weren't afraid to let him out, and it so cold to-day?" said Mrs. Conyfer.
 
[Pg 155]
 
"It wasn't so very cold—you usedn't to mind the cold, mother," said the boy.
 
"Maybe not so much as now," she replied. "I think I'm getting rheumatic like my father and mother before me, for I can't move about so quick, and then one feels the cold more."
 
"What makes people have rheumatics?" asked Gratian.
 
"Folk don't have it so much hereabout," his mother answered; "but I don't belong to the moor country, you know. My home was some way from this, down in the valley, where it's milder but much damper—and damp is worst of anything for rheumatism9. Dear me, I remember my old grandmother a perfect sight with it—all doubled up—you wondered how she got about. But she was a marvel10 of patience, and so cheery too. I only hope I shall be like her in that, if I live so long, for it's a sore trial to an active nature to become so nearly helpless."
 
"Had she nobody to be kind to her when she got so ill?" asked Gratian.
 
"Oh yes; her children were all good to her, so far as they could be. But they were all married and about in the world, and busy with their own[Pg 156] families. She was a good deal alone, poor old grandmother."
 
"Mother," said Gratian quickly. "If you ever got to be like that, I would never marry or go about in the world. I'd stay at home to be a comfort to you. I'd run all your messages and do everything I could for you. Mother, I wish you'd let me be more use to you now already, even though you're not so ill."
 
Mrs. Conyfer smiled, but there was more pleasure than amusement in her smile.
 
"I do think being at the Big House has done you good, Gratian. You never used to notice or think of things so much before you went there," she said. "And you're getting very handy, there's no doubt. I hope I shall never be so laid aside, but I'm sure you'd do your best, my dear. Now I think I shall go to bed, and you must be off too. Father's out still—he and Jonas have so much to see to these cold nights, seeing that all the creatures are warm and sheltered. There's snow not far off, they were saying. The wind's in the north."
 
Gratian's dreams were very grotesque11 that night. He dreamt that his mother was turned into a sea-gull, all except her face, which remained the[Pg 157] same. And she could neither walk nor fly, she was so lame12 and stiff, or else it was that her wings were cut—he was not sure which. Then he heard Green-wings's voice saying, "She only wants a sight of the sea to make her well. Gratian, you should take her to the sea; call the cocks and hens to help you;" and with that he thought he opened his eyes and found himself on the terrace where he had been walking with Fergus, and there was a beautiful little carriage drawn13 by about a dozen cocks and hens; but when he would have got in, Fergus seemed to push him back, saying, "Not yet, not yet, your mother first," and Fergus kept looking for Mrs. Conyfer as if he did not know that she was the poor sea-gull, standing there looking very funny with the little red knitted shawl on that Gratian's mother wore when it was a chilly14 morning. And just then there came flying down from above, Gratian's four friends. Nobody seemed to see them but himself, and the cocks and hens began making such a noise that he felt quite confused.
 
"Oh, do take poor mother," he called out—for there was no use trying to make any one else understand—"Green-wings and all of you, do take poor mother."
 
[Pg 158]
 
"Not without you, Gratian," replied Gray-wings's sharp voice. "It's your place to look after your mother," and as she spoke8 she stooped towards him and he felt her cold breath, and with the start it gave him he awoke.
 
The door of his room had blown open, and the window was rattling15, and the clothes had slipped off on one side. No wonder he had dreamt he was cold. He covered himself up again and went to sleep.
 
Mrs. Conyfer was up as usual the next morning. She said she was better, but she limped a little as she walked, and Gratian did not like to see it, though she assured him it did not hurt her.
 
"I shall take a rest on Sunday," she said, "and then you may tend me a bit, Gratian. He's as handy as a girl," she added, turning to the farmer with a smile. And Mr. Conyfer patted his son's head.
 
"That's right," he said; "always be good to your mother."
 
"Winter is really coming," thought Gratian, as he ran to school, and he glanced up at the sky wondering if snow were at last on the way.
 
It held off however for some little time yet.
 
[Pg 159]
 
It was on the third day after this that Gratian on his way home was rather surprised to meet Mr. Cornelius returning as if from the Farm. The school-children knew that the master had been somewhere, for he had left the school in charge of one or two of the head boys and his sister, who lived with him and taught the girls sewing.
 
He smiled and nodded at Gratian, but did not speak, and the boy could not help wondering if he had been at Four Winds, and why. And as soon as he got home he ran eagerly in to ask.
 
"Has the master been here, mother? What did he come for?" he called out.
 
His father and mother were both together in the kitchen, talking rather earnestly.
 
His father looked at him as he answered—
 
"Yes, Gratian," he said, "Mr. Cornelius has been here. He had something important to talk to us about. After you have had your tea and done your lessons we will tell you."
 
"I haven't any lessons, father," he replied. "We had time to do them this afternoon when the master was out."
 
So as soon as tea was over he was told what it was.
 
"Your friends at the Big House," began the[Pg 160] farmer, "are leaving soon. They daren't stay once it gets really cold. You'll be sorry to lose them, my boy?"
 
Gratian felt a lump rise in his throat, but he tried to answer cheerfully.
 
"Yes, father. They've been so good to me. I knew they'd have to go some time, but I tried not to think of it. The lady has taught me so many things I never knew before. I'll try not to forget them."
 
"She has been very good to you, and she wants to be still more. That's what Cornelius came about. I don't want to make you vain, Gratian, but she thinks, and Cornelius thinks—and they should know—that there's the making of something out of the common in you—that, if you are taught and trained the right way, you may come to be something a good bit higher than a plain moorland farmer."
 
Gratian listened with wide-opened eyes.
 
"I know," he said breathlessly, "I've felt it sometimes. I don't rightly know what. I'd like to learn—I'd like to——oh, father, I can't say what I mean. It's as if there were so many thoughts in me that I can't say," and the child leaned his head on his mother's shoulder and burst into tears.
 
[Pg 161]
 
The farmer and his wife looked at each other. They were simple unlettered folk, but for all that there was something in them that "understood."
 
"My boy, my little Gratian," said the mother, in tones that she but seldom used; "don't cry, my dear. Listen to father."
 
And in a moment or two the child raised his still tearful eyes, and the farmer went on.
 
"It's just that," he said. "It's just because you can't rightly say, that we want you to learn. No one can tell as yet what your talent may be, or if perhaps it is not, so to speak, but an everyday one after all. If so, no harm will be done; for you will be in wise hands, and you will come home again to Four Winds and follow in your father's and grandfather's steps. But your friends think you should have a better chance of learning and seeing for yourself than I can give you here. And the lady has written to her husband, and he's quite willing, and so it's, so to speak, all settled. You are to go with them when they leave here, Gratian, and for a year or so you are to have lessons at home with the little boy, who isn't yet strong enough to go to school. And by the end of that time it'll be easier to see what you are best fitted for. You'll have teaching[Pg 162] of all kinds—music and drawing, and all sorts of book-learning. It's a handsome offer, there's no denying."
 
And the tears quite disappeared from Gratian's bright eyes, and his whole face glowed with hope and satisfaction.
 
"I'll do my best, father. I can promise you that. You shall have no call to be ashamed of me. It's very good of you and mother to let me go. But I shall come home again before very long—I shan't be long without seeing you?"
 
"Oh yes—you shall come home after a while of course. Anyway for a visit, and to see how it will be best to do. We're not going to give you away altogether, you may be sure," said the farmer with a little attempt at a joke.
 
But the mother did not speak. She kissed the boy as she rarely kissed him, and whispered "God bless you, my dear," when she bade him good-night.
 
"I wonder if it's all come of our giving him such an outlandish name!" said Mrs. Conyfer with a rather melancholy16 smile.
 
And Gratian fell asleep with his mind in a whirl.
 
"I should like to talk about it to my godmothers," was almost his last thought. "I wonder if I shall[Pg 163] still see them sometimes when I am far from Four Winds."
 
And the next morning when he woke, he lay looking round his little room and thinking how much he liked it, and how happy he had been in it. He was beginning to realise that no good is all good, no light without shadow.
 
But there seemed no shadow or drawback of any kind the next day when he went to the Big House to talk it all over with the lady and Fergus. Fergus was too delighted for words.
 
"It is like a story in a book, isn't it, Gratian?" he said. "And if you turn out a great man, then the world will thank mother and me for having found you."
 
Gratian blushed a little.
 
"I don't know about being a great man," he said, "but I want to find out really what it is I can do best, and then it will be my own fault if I don't do something good."
 
"Yes, my boy—that is exactly what I want you to feel," said Fergus's mother.
 
But Gratian was anxious to know what his four friends had to say about it.
 
"I don't think it's very kind of none of you to[Pg 164] come to speak to me," he said aloud on his way home. "I know you're not far off—all of you. I'm sure I heard Gray-wings scolding outside last night."
 
A sound of faint laughter up above him seemed to answer.
 
"Oh there you are, Gray-wings, I thought as much," he said, buttoning up his jacket, for it was very cold. But he had hardly spoken before he heard, nearer than the laughter had been, a soft sigh.
 
"I never forget you—remember, Gratian, whenever you want me—whenever in sor—row."
 
"That's Green-wings," he said to himself. "But why should she talk of sorrow when I'm so happy—happier than ever in my life, I think. She is of rather too melancholy a nature."
 
He ran on—the door was latched—he hurried into the kitchen. There was no one there.
 
"Where can mother be?" he thought. He heard steps moving upstairs and turned to go there. Halfway17 up he met Madge, the servant, coming down. Her face looked anxious and distressed18 through all its rosiness19.
 
"Oh the poor missis," she said. "She's had to go to bed. The pains in her ankles and knees got so bad—I'm afeared she's going to be really very ill."
 
[Pg 165]
 
Gratian ran past her into his mother's room.
 
"Don't be frightened," Mrs. Conyfer said at once. "It's only that my rheumatism is very bad to-day. I'll be better in the morning, dear. I must be well with you going away so soon."
 
And when the farmer came in she met him with the same cheerful tone, though it was evident she was suffering severely20.
 
But Gratian sat by her bedside all the evening, doing all he could. He was grave and silent, for the thought was deep in his heart—
 
"I can't go away—I can't and I mustn't if mother is going to be really ill. Poor mother! I'm sure my godmothers wouldn't think I should."
 
 
.

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 moor T6yzd     
n.荒野,沼泽;vt.(使)停泊;vi.停泊
参考例句:
  • I decided to moor near some tourist boats.我决定在一些观光船附近停泊。
  • There were hundreds of the old huts on the moor.沼地上有成百上千的古老的石屋。
2 waft XUbzV     
v.飘浮,飘荡;n.一股;一阵微风;飘荡
参考例句:
  • The bubble maker is like a sword that you waft in the air.吹出泡泡的东西就像你在空中挥舞的一把剑。
  • When she just about fall over,a waft of fragrance makes her stop.在她差点跌倒时,一股幽香让她停下脚步。
3 remarkable 8Vbx6     
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的
参考例句:
  • She has made remarkable headway in her writing skills.她在写作技巧方面有了长足进步。
  • These cars are remarkable for the quietness of their engines.这些汽车因发动机没有噪音而不同凡响。
4 exquisite zhez1     
adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的
参考例句:
  • I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
  • I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。
5 plaintiveness 2f082cf85fb4c75b1e66d29140109ebe     
参考例句:
6 dirge Zudxf     
n.哀乐,挽歌,庄重悲哀的乐曲
参考例句:
  • She threw down her basket and intoned a peasant dirge.她撂下菜篮,唱起庄稼人的哀歌。
  • The stranger,after listening for a moment,joined in the mournful dirge.听了一会儿后这个陌生人也跟著唱起了悲哀的挽歌。
7 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
8 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
9 rheumatism hDnyl     
n.风湿病
参考例句:
  • The damp weather plays the very devil with my rheumatism.潮湿的天气加重了我的风湿病。
  • The hot weather gave the old man a truce from rheumatism.热天使这位老人暂时免受风湿病之苦。
10 marvel b2xyG     
vi.(at)惊叹vt.感到惊异;n.令人惊异的事
参考例句:
  • The robot is a marvel of modern engineering.机器人是现代工程技术的奇迹。
  • The operation was a marvel of medical skill.这次手术是医术上的一个奇迹。
11 grotesque O6ryZ     
adj.怪诞的,丑陋的;n.怪诞的图案,怪人(物)
参考例句:
  • His face has a grotesque appearance.他的面部表情十分怪。
  • Her account of the incident was a grotesque distortion of the truth.她对这件事的陈述是荒诞地歪曲了事实。
12 lame r9gzj     
adj.跛的,(辩解、论据等)无说服力的
参考例句:
  • The lame man needs a stick when he walks.那跛脚男子走路时需借助拐棍。
  • I don't believe his story.It'sounds a bit lame.我不信他讲的那一套。他的话听起来有些靠不住。
13 drawn MuXzIi     
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的
参考例句:
  • All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
  • Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。
14 chilly pOfzl     
adj.凉快的,寒冷的
参考例句:
  • I feel chilly without a coat.我由于没有穿大衣而感到凉飕飕的。
  • I grew chilly when the fire went out.炉火熄灭后,寒气逼人。
15 rattling 7b0e25ab43c3cc912945aafbb80e7dfd     
adj. 格格作响的, 活泼的, 很好的 adv. 极其, 很, 非常 动词rattle的现在分词
参考例句:
  • This book is a rattling good read. 这是一本非常好的读物。
  • At that same instant,a deafening explosion set the windows rattling. 正在这时,一声震耳欲聋的爆炸突然袭来,把窗玻璃震得当当地响。
16 melancholy t7rz8     
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的
参考例句:
  • All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
  • He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过,他感到很郁闷。
17 halfway Xrvzdq     
adj.中途的,不彻底的,部分的;adv.半路地,在中途,在半途
参考例句:
  • We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路,天就黑了。
  • In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上,最忌讳的是有始无终。
18 distressed du1z3y     
痛苦的
参考例句:
  • He was too distressed and confused to answer their questions. 他非常苦恼而困惑,无法回答他们的问题。
  • The news of his death distressed us greatly. 他逝世的消息使我们极为悲痛。
19 rosiness 0cfd60579ff98627d8440dbbbe047849     
n.玫瑰色;淡红色;光明;有希望
参考例句:
  • There is a kind of musical-comedy rosiness about the novel. 那本小说有一种音乐喜剧的愉快气氛。 来自辞典例句
  • She was flushed like the dawn, with a kind of luminous rosiness all about her. 她满脸象朝霞一样的通红,浑身上下有一种玫瑰色的光彩。 来自辞典例句
20 severely SiCzmk     
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地
参考例句:
  • He was severely criticized and removed from his post.他受到了严厉的批评并且被撤了职。
  • He is severely put down for his careless work.他因工作上的粗心大意而受到了严厉的批评。


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