Chapter 35

    The next morning the dread¹ was still there, and sheunderstood that she must snatch herself out of the torpor² ofthe will into which she had been gradually sinking, and tellDarrow that she could not be his wife.

　　The knowledge came to her in the watches of a sleeplessnight, when, through the tears of disenchanted passion, shestared back upon her past. There it lay before her, hersole romance, in all its paltry³ poverty, the cheapest ofcheap adventures, the most pitiful of sentimental⁴ blunders.

　　She looked about her room, the room where, for so manyyears, if her heart had been quiescent⁵ her thoughts had beenalive, and pictured herself henceforth cowering⁶ before athrong of mean suspicions, of unavowed compromises andconcessions. In that moment of self-searching she saw thatSophy Viner had chosen the better part, and that certainrenunciations might enrich where possession would have lefta desert.

　　Passionate reactions of instinct fought against theseefforts of her will. Why should past or future coerce⁷ her,when the present was so securely hers? Why insanelysurrender what the other would after all never have? Hersense of irony⁸ whispered that if she sent away Darrow itwould not be to Sophy Viner, but to the first woman whocrossed his path--as, in a similar hour, Sophy Viner herselfhad crossed it...But the mere⁹ fact that she could think suchthings of him sent her shuddering¹⁰ back to the opposite pole.

　　She pictured herself gradually subdued¹¹ to such a conceptionof life and love, she pictured Effie growing up under theinfluence of the woman she saw herself becoming--and she hidher eyes from the humiliation¹² of the picture...

　　They were at luncheon¹³ when the summons that Darrow expectedwas brought to him. He handed the telegram to Anna, and shelearned that his Ambassador, on the way to a German cure,was to be in Paris the next evening and wished to conferwith him there before he went back to London. The idea thatthe decisive moment was at hand was so agitating¹⁴ to her thatwhen luncheon was over she slipped away to the terrace andthence went down alone to the garden. The day was grey butmild, with the heaviness of decay in the air. She rambledon aimlessly, following under the denuded¹⁵ boughs¹⁶ the pathshe and Darrow had taken on their first walk to the river.

　　She was sure he would not try to overtake her: sure he wouldguess why she wished to be alone. There were moments whenit seemed to double her loneliness to be so certain of hisreading her heart while she was so desperately¹⁷ ignorant ofhis...

　　She wandered on for more than an hour, and when she returnedto the house she saw, as she entered the hall, that Darrowwas seated at the desk in Owen's study. He heard her step,and looking up turned in his chair without rising. Theireyes met, and she saw that his were clear and smiling. Hehad a heap of papers at his elbow and was evidently engagedin some official correspondence. She wondered that he couldaddress himself so composedly to his task, and thenironically reflected that such detachment was a sign of hissuperiority. She crossed the threshold and went toward him;but as she advanced she had a sudden vision of Owen,standing outside in the cold autumn dusk and watching Darrowand Sophy Viner as they faced each other across the lamplitdesk...The evocation¹⁸ was so vivid that it caught her breathlike a blow, and she sank down helplessly on the divan¹⁹ amongthe piled-up books. Distinctly, at the moment, sheunderstood that the end had come. "When he speaks to me Iwill tell him!" she thought...

　　Darrow, laying aside his pen, looked at her for a moment insilence; then he stood up and shut the door.

　　"I must go to-morrow early," he said, sitting down besideher. His voice was grave, with a slight tinge²⁰ of sadness.

　　She said to herself: "He knows what I am feeling..." and nowthe thought made her feel less alone. The expression of hisface was stern and yet tender: for the first time sheunderstood what he had suffered.

　　She had no doubt as to the necessity of giving him up, butit was impossible to tell him so then. She stood up andsaid: "I'll leave you to your letters." He made no protest,but merely answered: "You'll come down presently for awalk?" and it occurred to her at once that she would walkdown to the river with him, and give herself for the lasttime the tragic²¹ luxury of sitting at his side in the littlepavilion. "Perhaps," she thought, "it will be easier totell him there."It did not, on the way home from their walk, become anyeasier to tell him; but her secret decision to do so beforehe left gave her a kind of factitious calm and laid amelancholy ecstasy²² upon the hour. Still skirting thesubject that fanned their very faces with its flame, theyclung persistently²³ to other topics, and it seemed to Annathat their minds had never been nearer together than in thishour when their hearts were so separate. In the glow ofinterchanged love she had grown less conscious of that otherglow of interchanged thought which had once illumined hermind. She had forgotten how Darrow had widened her worldand lengthened²⁴ out all her perspectives, and with a pang²⁵ ofdouble destitution²⁶ she saw herself alone among her shrunkenthoughts.

　　For the first time, then, she had a clear vision of what herlife would be without him. She imagined herself trying totake up the daily round, and all that had lightened andanimated it seemed equally lifeless and vain. She tried tothink of herself as wholly absorbed in her daughter'sdevelopment, like other mothers she had seen; but shesupposed those mothers must have had stored memories ofhappiness to nourish them. She had had nothing, and all herstarved youth still claimed its due.

　　When she went up to dress for dinner she said to herself:

　　"I'll have my last evening with him, and then, before we saygood night, I'll tell him."This postponement²⁷ did not seem unjustified. Darrow hadshown her how he dreaded²⁸ vain words, how resolved he was toavoid all fruitless discussion. He must have been intenselyaware of what had been going on in her mind since hisreturn, yet when she had attempted to reveal it to him hehad turned from the revelation. She was therefore merelyfollowing the line he had traced in behaving, till the finalmoment came, as though there were nothing more to say...

　　That moment seemed at last to be at hand when, at her usualhour after dinner, Madame de Chantelle rose to go upstairs.

　　She lingered a little to bid good-bye to Darrow, whom shewas not likely to see in the morning; and her affableallusions to his prompt return sounded in Anna's ear likethe note of destiny.

　　A cold rain had fallen all day, and for greater warmth andintimacy they had gone after dinner to the oak-room,shutting out the chilly²⁹ vista³⁰ of the farther drawing-rooms.

　　The autumn wind, coming up from the river, cried about thehouse with a voice of loss and separation; and Anna andDarrow sat silent, as if they feared to break the hush³¹ thatshut them in. The solitude³², the fire-light, the harmony ofsoft hangings and old dim pictures, wove about them a spellof security through which Anna felt, far down in her heart,the muffled³³ beat of an inextinguishable bliss³⁴. How could shehave thought that this last moment would be the moment tospeak to him, when it seemed to have gathered up into itsflight all the scattered³⁵ splendours of her dream?

1 dread   

vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧

参考例句：

• We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
• Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。

2 torpor   

n.迟钝；麻木；（动物的）冬眠

参考例句：

• The sick person gradually falls into a torpor.病人逐渐变得迟钝。
• He fell into a deep torpor.他一下子进入了深度麻痹状态。

3 paltry   

adj.无价值的，微不足道的

参考例句：

• The parents had little interest in paltry domestic concerns.那些家长对家里鸡毛蒜皮的小事没什么兴趣。
• I'm getting angry;and if you don't command that paltry spirit of yours.我要生气了，如果你不能振作你那点元气。

4 sentimental   

adj.多愁善感的，感伤的

参考例句：

• She's a sentimental woman who believes marriage comes by destiny.她是多愁善感的人，她相信姻缘命中注定。
• We were deeply touched by the sentimental movie.我们深深被那感伤的电影所感动。

5 quiescent   

adj.静止的，不活动的，寂静的

参考例句：

• It is unlikely that such an extremist organization will remain quiescent for long.这种过激的组织是不太可能长期沉默的。
• Great distance in either time or space has wonderful power to lull and render quiescent the human mind.时间和空间上的远距离有一种奇妙的力量，可以使人的心灵平静。

6 cowering   

v.畏缩，抖缩( cower的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• He turned his baleful glare on the cowering suspect. 他恶毒地盯着那个蜷缩成一团的嫌疑犯。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He stood over the cowering Herb with fists of fury. 他紧握着两个拳头怒气冲天地站在惊魂未定的赫伯面前。 来自辞典例句

7 coerce   

v.强迫，压制

参考例句：

• You can't coerce her into obedience.你不能强制她服从。
• Do you think there is any way that we can coerce them otherwise?你认为我们有什么办法强迫他们不那样吗？

8 irony   

n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄

参考例句：

• She said to him with slight irony.她略带嘲讽地对他说。
• In her voice we could sense a certain tinge of irony.从她的声音里我们可以感到某种讥讽的意味。

9 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

10 shuddering   

v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动

参考例句：

• 'I am afraid of it,'she answered, shuddering. “我害怕，”她发着抖，说。 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
• She drew a deep shuddering breath. 她不由得打了个寒噤，深深吸了口气。 来自飘（部分）

11 subdued   

adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• He seemed a bit subdued to me. 我觉得他当时有点闷闷不乐。
• I felt strangely subdued when it was all over. 一切都结束的时候，我却有一种奇怪的压抑感。

12 humiliation   

n.羞辱

参考例句：

• He suffered the humiliation of being forced to ask for his cards.他蒙受了被迫要求辞职的羞辱。
• He will wish to revenge his humiliation in last Season's Final.他会为在上个季度的决赛中所受的耻辱而报复的。

13 luncheon   

n.午宴，午餐，便宴

参考例句：

• We have luncheon at twelve o'clock.我们十二点钟用午餐。
• I have a luncheon engagement.我午饭有约。

14 agitating   

搅动( agitate的现在分词 )； 激怒； 使焦虑不安； （尤指为法律、社会状况的改变而）激烈争论

参考例句：

• political groups agitating for social change 鼓吹社会变革的政治团体
• They are agitating to assert autonomy. 他们正在鼓吹实行自治。

15 denuded   

adj.[医]变光的，裸露的v.使赤裸( denude的过去式和过去分词 )；剥光覆盖物

参考例句：

• hillsides denuded of trees 光秃秃没有树的山坡
• In such areas we see villages denuded of young people. 在这些地区，我们在村子里根本看不到年轻人。 来自辞典例句

16 boughs   

大树枝( bough的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The green boughs glittered with all their pearls of dew. 绿枝上闪烁着露珠的光彩。
• A breeze sighed in the higher boughs. 微风在高高的树枝上叹息着。

17 desperately   

adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地

参考例句：

• He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
• He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。

18 evocation   

n. 引起，唤起 n. <古> 召唤，招魂

参考例句：

• Against this brilliant evocation of airlessness we may put Whitman's view of the poet. 我们从他这段批评诗人无生气的精采论述中，可以看出惠特曼对于诗人的看法。
• It prefers evocation spells and illusions to help it disguise It'self. 他更喜欢塑能系法术和可以辅助伪装自己的幻术。

19 divan   

n.长沙发；（波斯或其他东方诗人的）诗集

参考例句：

• Lord Henry stretched himself out on the divan and laughed.亨利勋爵伸手摊脚地躺在沙发椅上，笑着。
• She noticed that Muffat was sitting resignedly on a narrow divan-bed.她看见莫法正垂头丧气地坐在一张不宽的坐床上。

20 tinge   

vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息

参考例句：

• The maple leaves are tinge with autumn red.枫叶染上了秋天的红色。
• There was a tinge of sadness in her voice.她声音中流露出一丝忧伤。

21 tragic   

adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的

参考例句：

• The effect of the pollution on the beaches is absolutely tragic.污染海滩后果可悲。
• Charles was a man doomed to tragic issues.查理是个注定不得善终的人。

22 ecstasy   

n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷

参考例句：

• He listened to the music with ecstasy.他听音乐听得入了神。
• Speechless with ecstasy,the little boys gazed at the toys.小孩注视着那些玩具，高兴得说不出话来。

23 persistently   

ad.坚持地；固执地

参考例句：

• He persistently asserted his right to a share in the heritage. 他始终声称他有分享那笔遗产的权利。
• She persistently asserted her opinions. 她果断地说出了自己的意见。

24 lengthened   

（时间或空间）延长，伸长( lengthen的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The afternoon shadows lengthened. 下午影子渐渐变长了。
• He wanted to have his coat lengthened a bit. 他要把上衣放长一些。

25 pang   

n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷

参考例句：

• She experienced a sharp pang of disappointment.她经历了失望的巨大痛苦。
• She was beginning to know the pang of disappointed love.她开始尝到了失恋的痛苦。

26 destitution   

n.穷困，缺乏，贫穷

参考例句：

• The people lived in destitution. 民生凋敝。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• His drinking led him to a life of destitution. 酗酒导致他生活贫穷。 来自辞典例句

27 postponement   

n.推迟

参考例句：

• He compounded with his creditors for a postponement of payment. 他与债权人达成协议延期付款。
• Rain caused the postponement of several race-meetings. 几次赛马大会因雨延期。

28 dreaded   

adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The dreaded moment had finally arrived. 可怕的时刻终于来到了。
• He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital. 他害怕非得在医院过圣诞节不可。 来自《用法词典》

29 chilly   

adj.凉快的，寒冷的

参考例句：

• I feel chilly without a coat.我由于没有穿大衣而感到凉飕飕的。
• I grew chilly when the fire went out.炉火熄灭后，寒气逼人。

30 vista   

n.远景，深景，展望，回想

参考例句：

• From my bedroom window I looked out on a crowded vista of hills and rooftops.我从卧室窗口望去，远处尽是连绵的山峦和屋顶。
• These uprisings come from desperation and a vista of a future without hope.发生这些暴动是因为人们被逼上了绝路，未来看不到一点儿希望。

31 hush   

int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静

参考例句：

• A hush fell over the onlookers.旁观者们突然静了下来。
• Do hush up the scandal!不要把这丑事声张出去！

32 solitude   

n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方

参考例句：

• People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
• They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。

33 muffled   

adj.（声音）被隔的；听不太清的；（衣服）裹严的；蒙住的v.压抑，捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己）

参考例句：

• muffled voices from the next room 从隔壁房间里传来的沉闷声音
• There was a muffled explosion somewhere on their right. 在他们的右面什么地方有一声沉闷的爆炸声。 来自《简明英汉词典》

34 bliss   

n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福

参考例句：

• It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
• He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴，因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。

35 scattered   

adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的

参考例句：

• Gathering up his scattered papers,he pushed them into his case.他把散乱的文件收拾起来，塞进文件夹里。