Darrow continued to stand by the door after it had closed.
Anna felt that he was looking at her, and sat still,disdaining to seek refuge in any evasive word or movement.
For the last time she wanted to let him take from her thefulness of what the sight of her could give.
He crossed over and sat down on the sofa. For a momentneither of them spoke1; then he said: "To-night, dearest, Imust have my answer."She straightened herself under the shock of his seeming totake the very words from her lips.
"To-night?" was all that she could falter2.
"I must be off by the early train. There won't be more thana moment in the morning."He had taken her hand, and she said to herself that she mustfree it before she could go on with what she had to say.
Then she rejected this concession3 to a weakness she wasresolved to defy. To the end she would leave her hand inhis hand, her eyes in his eyes: she would not, in theirfinal hour together, be afraid of any part of her love forhim.
"You'll tell me to-night, dear," he insisted gently; and hisinsistence gave her the strength to speak.
"There's something I must ask you," she broke out,perceiving, as she heard her words, that they were not inthe least what she had meant to say.
He sat still, waiting, and she pressed on: "Do such thingshappen to men often?"The quiet room seemed to resound4 with the longreverberations of her question. She looked away from him,and he released her and stood up.
"I don't know what happens to other men. Such a thing neverhappened to me..."She turned her eyes back to his face. She felt like atraveller on a giddy path between a cliff and a precipice5:
there was nothing for it now but to go on.
"Had it...had it begun...before you met her in Paris?""No; a thousand times no! I've told you the facts as theywere.""All the facts?"He turned abruptly6. "What do you mean?"Her throat was dry and the loud pulses drummed in hertemples.
"I mean--about her...Perhaps you knew...knew things abouther...beforehand."She stopped. The room had grown profoundly still. A logdropped to the hearth7 and broke there in a hissing8 shower.
Darrow spoke in a clear voice. "I knew nothing, absolutelynothing," he said.
She had the answer to her inmost doubt--to her last shamefulunavowed hope. She sat powerless under her woe9.
He walked to the fireplace and pushed back the broken logwith his foot. A flame shot out of it, and in the upwardglare she saw his pale face, stern with misery10.
"Is that all?" he asked.
She made a slight sign with her head and he came slowly backto her. "Then is this to be good-bye?"Again she signed a faint assent11, and he made no effort totouch her or draw nearer. "You understand that I sha'n'tcome back?"He was looking at her, and she tried to return his look, buther eyes were blind with tears, and in dread12 of his seeingthem she got up and walked away. He did not follow her, andshe stood with her back to him, staring at a bowl ofcarnations on a little table strewn with books. Her tearsmagnified everything she looked at, and the streaked14 petalsof the carnations13, their fringed edges and frail15 curledstamens, pressed upon her, huge and vivid. She noticedamong the books a volume of verse he had sent her fromEngland, and tried to remember whether it was before orafter...
She felt that he was waiting for her to speak, and at lastshe turned to him. "I shall see you to-morrow before yougo..."He made no answer.
She moved toward the door and he held it open for her. Shesaw his hand on the door, and his seal ring in its settingof twisted silver; and the sense of the end of all thingscame to her.
They walked down the drawing-rooms, between the shadowyreflections of screens and cabinets, and mounted the stairsside by side. At the end of the gallery, a lamp brought outturbid gleams in the smoky battle-piece above it.
On the landing Darrow stopped; his room was the nearest tothe stairs. "Good night," he said, holding out his hand.
As Anna gave him hers the springs of grief broke loose inher. She struggled with her sobs16, and subdued17 them; but herbreath came unevenly18, and to hide her agitation19 she leanedon him and pressed her face against his arm.
"Don't--don't," he whispered, soothing20 her.
Her troubled breathing sounded loudly in the silence of thesleeping house. She pressed her lips tight, but could notstop the nervous pulsations in her throat, and he put an armabout her and, opening his door, drew her across thethreshold of his room. The door shut behind her and she satdown on the lounge at the foot of the bed. The pulsationsin her throat had ceased, but she knew they would beginagain if she tried to speak.
Darrow walked away and leaned against the mantelpiece. Thered-veiled lamp shone on his books and papers, on the arm-chair by the fire, and the scattered21 objects on hisdressing-table. A log glimmered22 on the hearth, and the roomwas warm and faintly smoke-scented. It was the first timeshe had ever been in a room he lived in, among his personalpossessions and the traces of his daily usage. Every objectabout her seemed to contain a particle of himself: the wholeair breathed of him, steeping her in the sense of hisintimate presence.
Suddenly she thought: "This is what Sophy Viner knew"...andwith a torturing precision she pictured them alone in such ascene...Had he taken the girl to an hotel...where did peoplego in such cases? Wherever they were, the silence of nighthad been around them, and the things he used had been strewnabout the room...Anna, ashamed of dwelling23 on the detestedvision, stood up with a confused impulse of flight; then awave of contrary feeling arrested her and she paused withlowered head.
Darrow had come forward as she rose, and she perceived thathe was waiting for her to bid him good night. It was clearthat no other possibility had even brushed his mind; and thefact, for some dim reason, humiliated24 her. "Why not...whynot?" something whispered in her, as though his forbearance,his tacit recognition of her pride, were a slight on otherqualities she wanted him to feel in her.
"In the morning, then?" she heard him say.
"Yes, in the morning," she repeated.
She continued to stand in the same place, looking vaguelyabout the room. For once before they parted--since partthey must--she longed to be to him all that Sophy Viner hadbeen; but she remained rooted to the floor, unable to find aword or imagine a gesture that should express her meaning.
Exasperated by her helplessness, she thought: "Don't I feelthings as other women do?"Her eye fell on a note-case she had given him. It was wornat the corners with the friction25 of his pocket and distendedwith thickly packed papers. She wondered if he carried herletters in it, and she put her hand out and touched it.
All that he and she had ever felt or seen, their closeencounters of word and look, and the closer contact of theirsilences, trembled through her at the touch. She rememberedthings he had said that had been like new skies above herhead: ways he had that seemed a part of the air shebreathed. The faint warmth of her girlish love came back toher, gathering26 heat as it passed through her thoughts; andher heart rocked like a boat on the surge of its long longmemories. "It's because I love him in too many ways," shethought; and slowly she turned to the door.
She was aware that Darrow was still silently watching her,but he neither stirred nor spoke till she had reached thethreshold. Then he met her there and caught her in hisarms.
"Not to-night--don't tell me to-night!" he whispered; andshe leaned away from him, closing her eyes for an instant,and then slowly opening them to the flood of light in his.
收听单词发音 |
1
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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falter
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| vi.(嗓音)颤抖，结巴地说；犹豫；蹒跚 | |
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concession
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| n.让步，妥协；特许(权) | |
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resound
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| v.回响 | |
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precipice
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| n.悬崖，危急的处境 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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hearth
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| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
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hissing
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| n. 发嘶嘶声, 蔑视 动词hiss的现在分词形式 | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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carnations
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| n.麝香石竹，康乃馨( carnation的名词复数 ) | |
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14
streaked
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| adj.有条斑纹的，不安的v.快速移动( streak的过去式和过去分词 )；使布满条纹 | |
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frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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unevenly
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| adv.不均匀的 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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glimmered
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| v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23
dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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24
humiliated
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| 感到羞愧的 | |
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friction
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| n.摩擦，摩擦力 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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