Now I have already given a first picture of the world of fact as it shaped itself upon my mind. Let me now give a second picture of this world in which I find myself, a picture in a rather different key and at a different level, in which I turn to a new set of aspects and bring into the foreground the other minds which are with me in the midst of this great spectacle.
What am I?
Here is a question to which in all ages men have sought to give a clear unambiguous answer, and to which a clear unambiguous answer is manifestly unfitted. Am I my body? Yes or no? It seems to me that I can externalize and think of as “not myself” nearly everything that pertains1 to my body, hands and feet, and even the most secret and central of those living and hidden parts, the pulsing arteries2, the throbbing3 nerves, the ganglionic centres, that no eye, save for the surgeon’s knife has ever seen or ever will see until they coagulate in decay. So far I am not my body; and then as clearly, since I suffer through it, see the whole world through it and am always to be called upon where it is, I am it. Am I a mind mysteriously linked to this thing of matter and endeavour?
So I can present myself. I seem to be a consciousness, vague and insecure, placed between two worlds. One of these worlds seems clearly “not me,” the other is more closely identified with me and yet is still imperfectly me. The first I call the exterior4 world, and it presents itself to me as existing in Time and Space. In a certain way I seem able to interfere5 with it and control it. The second is the interior world, having no forms in space and only a vague evasive reference to time, from which motives6 arise and storms of emotion, which acts and reacts constantly and in untraceable way with my conscious mind. And that consciousness itself hangs and drifts about the region where the inner world and the outer world meet, much as a patch of limelight drifts about the stage, illuminating7, affecting, following no manifest law except that usually it centres upon the hero, my Ego8.
It seems to me that to put the thing much more precisely9 than this is to depart from the reality of the matter.
But so departing a little, let me borrow a phrase from Herbart and identify myself more particularly with my mental self. It seems to me that I may speak of myself as a circle of thought and experience hung between these two imperfectly understood worlds of the internal and the external and passing imperceptibly into the former. The external world impresses me as being, as a practical fact, common to me and many other creatures similar to myself; the internal, I find similar but not identical with theirs. It is MINE. It seems to me at times no more than something cut off from that external world and put into a sort of pit or cave, much as all the inner mystery of my body, those living, writhing10, warm and thrilling organs are isolated11, hidden from all eyes and interference so long as I remain alive. And I myself, the essential me, am the light and watcher in the mouth of the cave.
So I think of myself, and so I think of all other human beings, as circles of thought and experience, each a little different from the others. Each human being I see as essentially12 a circle of thought between an internal and an external world.
I figure these circles of thought as more or less imperfectly focussed pictures, all a little askew13 and vague as to margins14 and distances. In the internal world arise motives, and they pass outward through the circle of thought and are modified and directed by it into external acts. And through speech, example, and a hundred various acts, one such circle, one human mind, lights and enlarges and plays upon another. That is the image under which the interrelation of minds presents itself to me.
1 pertains | |
关于( pertain的第三人称单数 ); 有关; 存在; 适用 | |
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2 arteries | |
n.动脉( artery的名词复数 );干线,要道 | |
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3 throbbing | |
a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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4 exterior | |
adj.外部的,外在的;表面的 | |
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5 interfere | |
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
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6 motives | |
n.动机,目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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7 illuminating | |
a.富于启发性的,有助阐明的 | |
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8 ego | |
n.自我,自己,自尊 | |
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9 precisely | |
adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地 | |
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10 writhing | |
(因极度痛苦而)扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
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11 isolated | |
adj.与世隔绝的 | |
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12 essentially | |
adv.本质上,实质上,基本上 | |
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13 askew | |
adv.斜地;adj.歪斜的 | |
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14 margins | |
边( margin的名词复数 ); 利润; 页边空白; 差数 | |
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