I cannot divide them into clearly defined classes, but I may perhaps begin with those that bring one into the widest sympathy with living things and go on to those one shares only with highly intelligent and complex human beings.
There come first the desires one shares with those more limited souls the beasts, just as much as one does with one’s fellow man. These are the bodily appetites and the crude emotions of fear and resentment1. These first clamour for attention and must be assuaged2 or controlled before the other sets come into play.
Now in this matter of physical appetites I do not know whether to describe myself as a sensualist or an ascetic3. If an ascetic is one who suppresses to a minimum all deference4 to these impulses, then certainly I am not an ascetic; if a sensualist is one who gives himself to heedless gratification, then certainly I am not a sensualist. But I find myself balanced in an intermediate position by something that I will speak of as the sense of Beauty. This sense of Beauty is something in me which demands not simply gratification but the best and keenest of a sense or continuance of sense impressions, and which refuses coarse quantitative5 assuagements. It ranges all over the senses, and just as I refuse to wholly cut off any of my motives7, so do I refuse to limit its use to the plane of the eye or the ear.
It seems to me entirely8 just to speak of beauty in matters of scent9 and taste, to talk not only of beautiful skies and beautiful sounds but of beautiful beer and beautiful cheese! The balance as between asceticism10 and sensuality comes in, it seems to me, if we remember that to drink well one must not have drunken for some time, that to see well one’s eye must be clear, that to make love well one must be fit and gracious and sweet and disciplined from top to toe, that the finest sense of all — the joyous11 sense of bodily well-being12 — comes only with exercises and restraints and fine living. There I think lies the way of my disposition13. I do not want to live in the sensual sty, but I also do not want to scratch in the tub of Diogenes.
But I diverge14 a little in these comments from my present business of classifying motives.
Next I perceive hypertrophied in myself and many sympathetic human beings a passion that many animals certainly possess, the beautiful and fearless cousin of fear, Curiosity, that seeks keenly for knowing and feeling. Apart from appetites and bodily desires and blind impulses, I want most urgently to know and feel, for the sake of knowing and feeling. I want to go round corners and see what is there, to cross mountain ranges, to open boxes and parcels. Young animals at least have that disposition too. For me it is something that mingles16 with all my desires. Much more to me than the desire to live is the desire to taste life. I am not happy until I have done and felt things. I want to get as near as I can to the thrill of a dog going into a fight or the delight of a bird in the air. And not simply in the heroic field of war and the air do I want to understand. I want to know something of the jolly wholesome17 satisfaction that a hungry pig must find in its wash. I want to get the quintessence of that.
I do not think that in this I confess to any unusual temperament18. I think that the more closely mentally animated19 people scrutinize20 their motives the less is the importance they will attach to mere21 physical and brute22 urgencies and the more to curiosity.
Next after curiosity come those desires and motives that one shares perhaps with some social beasts, but far more so as a conscious thing with men alone. These desires and motives all centre on a clearly apprehended23 “self” in relation to “others”; they are the essentially24 egotistical group. They are self-assertion in all its forms. I have dealt with motives toward gratification and motives towards experience; this set of motives is for the sake of oneself. Since they are the most acutely conscious motives in unthinking men, there is a tendency on the part of unthinking philosophers to speak of them as though vanity, self-seeking, self-interest were the only motives. But one has but to reflect on what has gone before to realize that this is not so. One finds these “self” motives vary with the mental power and training of the individual; here they are fragmentary and discursive25, there drawn26 tight together into a coherent scheme. Where they are weak they mingle15 with the animal motives and curiosity like travellers in a busy market-place, but where the sense of self is strong they become rulers and regulators, self-seeking becomes deliberate and sustained in the case of the human being, vanity passes into pride.
Here again that something in the mind so difficult to define, so easy for all who understand to understand, that something which insists upon a best and keenest, the desire for beauty, comes into the play of motives. Pride demands a beautiful self and would discipline all other passions to its service. It also demands recognition for that beautiful self. Now pride, I know, is denounced by many as the essential quality of sin. We are taught that “self-abnegation” is the substance of virtue27 and self-forgetfulness the inseparable quality of right conduct. But indeed I cannot so dismiss egotism and that pride which was the first form in which the desire to rule oneself as a whole came to me. Through pride one shapes oneself towards a best, though at first it may be an ill-conceived best. Pride is not always arrogance28 and aggression29. There is that pride that does not ape but learn humility30.
And with the human imagination all these elementary instincts, of the flesh, of curiosity, of self-assertion, become only the basal substance of a huge elaborate edifice31 of secondary motive6 and intention. We live in a great flood of example and suggestion, our curiosity and our social quality impel32 us to a thousand imitations, to dramatic attitudes and subtly obscure ends. Our pride turns this way and that as we respond to new notes in the world about us. We are arenas33 for a conflict between suggestions flung in from all sources, from the most diverse and essentially incompatible34 sources. We live long hours and days in a kind of dream, negligent35 of self-interest, our elementary passions in abeyance36, among these derivative37 things.
1 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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2 assuaged | |
v.减轻( assuage的过去式和过去分词 );缓和;平息;使安静 | |
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3 ascetic | |
adj.禁欲的;严肃的 | |
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4 deference | |
n.尊重,顺从;敬意 | |
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5 quantitative | |
adj.数量的,定量的 | |
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6 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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7 motives | |
n.动机,目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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8 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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9 scent | |
n.气味,香味,香水,线索,嗅觉;v.嗅,发觉 | |
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10 asceticism | |
n.禁欲主义 | |
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11 joyous | |
adj.充满快乐的;令人高兴的 | |
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12 well-being | |
n.安康,安乐,幸福 | |
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13 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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14 diverge | |
v.分叉,分歧,离题,使...岔开,使转向 | |
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15 mingle | |
vt.使混合,使相混;vi.混合起来;相交往 | |
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16 mingles | |
混合,混入( mingle的第三人称单数 ); 混进,与…交往[联系] | |
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17 wholesome | |
adj.适合;卫生的;有益健康的;显示身心健康的 | |
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18 temperament | |
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
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19 animated | |
adj.生气勃勃的,活跃的,愉快的 | |
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20 scrutinize | |
n.详细检查,细读 | |
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21 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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22 brute | |
n.野兽,兽性 | |
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23 apprehended | |
逮捕,拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 ); 理解 | |
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24 essentially | |
adv.本质上,实质上,基本上 | |
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25 discursive | |
adj.离题的,无层次的 | |
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26 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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27 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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28 arrogance | |
n.傲慢,自大 | |
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29 aggression | |
n.进攻,侵略,侵犯,侵害 | |
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30 humility | |
n.谦逊,谦恭 | |
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31 edifice | |
n.宏伟的建筑物(如宫殿,教室) | |
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32 impel | |
v.推动;激励,迫使 | |
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33 arenas | |
表演场地( arena的名词复数 ); 竞技场; 活动或斗争的场所或场面; 圆形运动场 | |
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34 incompatible | |
adj.不相容的,不协调的,不相配的 | |
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35 negligent | |
adj.疏忽的;玩忽的;粗心大意的 | |
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36 abeyance | |
n.搁置,缓办,中止,产权未定 | |
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37 derivative | |
n.派(衍)生物;adj.非独创性的,模仿他人的 | |
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