Let's enjoy these aimless days while we can, I told myself, I fearing some kind of deft1 acceleration2.
At breakfast, Babette read all our horoscopes aloud, using her storytelling voice. I tried not to listen when she got tomine, although I think I wanted to listen, I think I sought some clues.
After dinner, on my way upstairs, I heard the TV say: "Let's sit half lotus and think about our spines3."That night, seconds after going to sleep, I seemed to fall through myself, a shallow heart-stopping plunge4. Jarredawake, I stared into the dark, realizing I'd experienced the more or less normal muscular contraction5 known as themyoclonic jerk. Is this what it's like, abrupt6, peremptory7? Shouldn't death, I thought, be a swan dive, graceful,white-winged and smooth, leaving the surface undisturbed?
Blue jeans tumbled in the dryer8.
We ran into Murray Jay Siskind at the supermarket. His basket held generic9 food and drink, nonbrand items in plainwhite packages with simple labeling. There was a white can labeled CANNED PEACHES. There was a whitepackage of bacon without a plastic window for viewing a representative slice. A jar of roasted nuts had a whitewrapper bearing the words IRREGULAR PEANUTS. Murray kept nodding to Babette as I introduced them.
'This is the new austerity," he said. "Flavorless packaging. It appeals to me. I feel I'm not only saving money butcontributing to some kind of spiritual consensus10. It's like World War HI. Everything is white. They'll take our brightcolors away and use them in the war effort."He was staring into Babette's eyes, picking up items from our cart and smelling them.
"I've bought these peanuts before. They're round, cubical, pockmarked, seamed. Broken peanuts. A lot of dust at thebottom of the jar. But they taste good. Most of all I like the packages themselves. You were right, Jack11. This is thelast avant-garde. Bold new forms. The power to shock."A woman fell into a rack of paperback12 books at the front of the store. A heavyset man emerged from the raisedcubicle in the far corner and moved warily13 toward her, head tilted14 to get a clearer sightline. A checkout15 girl said,"Leon, parsley," and he answered as he approached the fallen woman, "Seventy-nine." His breast pocket wascrammed with felt-tip pens.
"So then you cook at the rooming house," Babette said.
"My room is zoned16 for a hot plate. I'm happy there. I read the TV listings, I read the ads in Ufologist Today. I want toimmerse myself in American magic and dread17. My seminar is going well. The students are bright and responsive.
They ask questions and I answer them. They jot18 down notes as I speak. It's quite a surprise in my life."He picked up our bottle of extra-strength pain reliever and sniffed19 along the rim20 of the child-proof cap. He smelledour honeydew melons, our bottles of club soda21 and ginger22 ale. Babette went down the frozen food aisle23, an area mydoctor had advised me to stay out of.
"Your wife's hair is a living wonder," Murray said, looking closely into my face as if to communicate a deepeningrespect for me based on this new information.
"Yes, it is," I said.
"She has important hair.""I think I know what you mean.""I hope you appreciate that woman.""Absolutely.""Because a woman like that doesn't just happen.""I know it.""She must be good with children. More than that, I'll bet she's great to have around in a family tragedy. She'd be thetype to take control, show strength and affirmation.""Actually she falls apart. She fell apart when her mother died.""Who wouldn't?""She fell apart when Steffie called from camp with a broken bone in her hand. We had to drive all night. I foundmyself on a lumber24 company road. Babette weeping.""Her daughter, far away, among strangers, in pain. Who wouldn't?""Not her daughter. My daughter.""Not even her own daughter.""No.""Extraordinary. I have to love it."The three of us left together, trying to maneuver25 our shopping carts between the paperback books scattered26 across theentrance. Murray wheeled one of our carts into the parking lot and then helped us heave and push all ourdouble-bagged merchandise into the back of the station wagon27. Cars entered and exited. The policewoman in herzippered minicab scouted28 the area for red flags on the parking meters. We added Murray's single lightweight bag ofwhite items to our load and headed across Elm in the direction of his rooming house. It seemed to me that Babetteand I, in the mass and variety of our purchases, in the sheer plenitude those crowded bags suggested, the weight andsize and number, the familiar package designs and vivid lettering, the giant sizes, the family bargain packs withDay-Glo sale stickers, in the sense of replenishment29 we felt, the sense of well-being30, the security and contentmentthese products brought to some snug31 home in our souls—it seemed we had achieved a fullness of being that is notknown to people who need less, expect less, who plan their lives around lonely walks in the evening.
Murray took Babette's hand on leaving.
"I'd ask you to visit my room but it's too small for two people unless they're prepared to be intimate."Murray is able to produce a look that is sneaky and frank at the same time. It is a look that gives equal credence32 todisaster and lecherous33 success. He says that in the old days of his urban entanglements34 he believed there was onlyone way to seduce35 a woman, with clear and open desire. He took pains to avoid self-depreciation, self-mockery,ambiguity, irony36, subtlety37, vulnerability, a civilized38 world-weariness and a tragic39 sense of history— the very things,he says, that are most natural to him. Of these he has allowed only one element, vulnerability, to insert itselfgradually into his program of straightforward40 lust41. He is trying to develop a vulnerability that women will findattractive. He works at it consciously, like a man in a gym with weights and a mirror. But his efforts so far haveproduced only this half sneaky look, sheepish and wheedling42.
He thanked us for the lift. We watched him walk toward the lopsided porch, propped43 with cinder44 blocks, where aman in a rocker stared into space.
1 deft | |
adj.灵巧的,熟练的(a deft hand 能手) | |
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2 acceleration | |
n.加速,加速度 | |
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3 spines | |
n.脊柱( spine的名词复数 );脊椎;(动植物的)刺;书脊 | |
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4 plunge | |
v.跳入,(使)投入,(使)陷入;猛冲 | |
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5 contraction | |
n.缩略词,缩写式,害病 | |
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6 abrupt | |
adj.突然的,意外的;唐突的,鲁莽的 | |
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7 peremptory | |
adj.紧急的,专横的,断然的 | |
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8 dryer | |
n.干衣机,干燥剂 | |
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9 generic | |
adj.一般的,普通的,共有的 | |
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10 consensus | |
n.(意见等的)一致,一致同意,共识 | |
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11 jack | |
n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克 | |
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12 paperback | |
n.平装本,简装本 | |
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13 warily | |
adv.留心地 | |
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14 tilted | |
v. 倾斜的 | |
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15 checkout | |
n.(超市等)收银台,付款处 | |
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16 zoned | |
adj.划成区域的,束带的v.(飞机、汽车等)急速移动( zoom的现在分词 );(价格、费用等)急升,猛涨 | |
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17 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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18 jot | |
n.少量;vi.草草记下;vt.匆匆写下 | |
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19 sniffed | |
v.以鼻吸气,嗅,闻( sniff的过去式和过去分词 );抽鼻子(尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气);抱怨,不以为然地说 | |
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20 rim | |
n.(圆物的)边,轮缘;边界 | |
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21 soda | |
n.苏打水;汽水 | |
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22 ginger | |
n.姜,精力,淡赤黄色;adj.淡赤黄色的;vt.使活泼,使有生气 | |
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23 aisle | |
n.(教堂、教室、戏院等里的)过道,通道 | |
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24 lumber | |
n.木材,木料;v.以破旧东西堆满;伐木;笨重移动 | |
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25 maneuver | |
n.策略[pl.]演习;v.(巧妙)控制;用策略 | |
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26 scattered | |
adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的 | |
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27 wagon | |
n.四轮马车,手推车,面包车;无盖运货列车 | |
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28 scouted | |
寻找,侦察( scout的过去式和过去分词 ); 物色(优秀运动员、演员、音乐家等) | |
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29 replenishment | |
n.补充(货物) | |
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30 well-being | |
n.安康,安乐,幸福 | |
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31 snug | |
adj.温暖舒适的,合身的,安全的;v.使整洁干净,舒适地依靠,紧贴;n.(英)酒吧里的私房 | |
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32 credence | |
n.信用,祭器台,供桌,凭证 | |
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33 lecherous | |
adj.好色的;淫邪的 | |
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34 entanglements | |
n.瓜葛( entanglement的名词复数 );牵连;纠缠;缠住 | |
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35 seduce | |
vt.勾引,诱奸,诱惑,引诱 | |
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36 irony | |
n.反语,冷嘲;具有讽刺意味的事,嘲弄 | |
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37 subtlety | |
n.微妙,敏锐,精巧;微妙之处,细微的区别 | |
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38 civilized | |
a.有教养的,文雅的 | |
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39 tragic | |
adj.悲剧的,悲剧性的,悲惨的 | |
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40 straightforward | |
adj.正直的,坦率的;易懂的,简单的 | |
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41 lust | |
n.性(淫)欲;渴(欲)望;vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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42 wheedling | |
v.骗取(某物),哄骗(某人干某事)( wheedle的现在分词 ) | |
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43 propped | |
支撑,支持,维持( prop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44 cinder | |
n.余烬,矿渣 | |
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