Brian

JUST BEFORE SEVEN A.M. on Sunday, an octopus¹ walks into the station. Well, it is actually a woman dressedlike an octopus, but when you see something like that, distinctions hardly matter. She has tears running downher face and holds a Pekingese dog in her multiple arms. “You have to help me,” she says, and that’s when Iremember: this is Mrs. Zegna, whose house was gutted² by a kitchen fire a few days ago.

She plucks at her tentacles³. “This is the only clothing I have left. A Halloween costume. Ursula. It’s beenrotting in a U-Store-It locker⁴ in Taunton with my Peter Paul and Mary album collection.”

I gently sit her down in the chair across from my desk. “Mrs. Zegna, I know your house is uninhabitable—”

“Uninhabitable? It’s wrecked⁵!”

“I can put you in touch with a shelter. And if you like, I can speak to your insurance company to expeditethings.”

She lifts one arm to wipe her eyes, and eight others, drawn⁶ by strings⁷, rise in unison⁸. “I don’t have homeinsurance. I don’t believe in living my life expecting the worst.”

I stare at her for a moment. I try to remember what it is like to be taken aback by the very possibility ofdisaster.

When I get to the hospital, Kate is lying on her back, holding tight to a stuffed bear she’s had since she wasseven. She’s hooked up to one of those patient-managed morphine drips, and her thumb pushes down on thebutton every now and then, although she is fast asleep.

One of the chairs in the room folds out into a cot with a mattress⁹ thin as a wafer; this is where Sara is curled.

“Hey,” she says, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “Where’s Anna?”

“Still sleeping like only a kid can. How was Kate’s night?”

“Not bad. She was in a little pain between two and four.”

I sit down on the edge of her cot. “It meant a lot to Anna, you calling last night.”

When I look into Sara’s eyes, I see Jesse—they have the same coloring, the same features. I wonder if Saralooks at me and thinks of Kate. I wonder if that hurts.

It is hard to believe that once, this woman and I sat in a car and drove the entire length of Route 66, andnever ran out of things to say. Our conversations now are an economy of facts, full of blue chip details andinsider information.

“Do you remember that fortune-teller?” I ask. When she looks at me blankly, I keep talking. “We were out inthe middle of Nevada, and the Chevy ran out of gas…and you wouldn’t let me leave you in the car while Ilooked for a service station?”

Ten days from now, when you’re still walking in circles, they’re going to find me with vultures eating out myinsides, Sara had said, and she’d fallen into step beside me. We hiked back four miles to the shanty¹⁰ we’dpassed, a gas station. It was run by an old guy and his sister, who advertised herself as a psychic¹¹. Let’s do it,Sara begged, but a reading cost five bucks¹² and I only had ten. Then we’ll get half the gas, and ask the psychicwhen we can expect to run out the next time, Sara said, and like always, she convinced me.

Madame Agnes was the kind of blind that scares children, with cataract¹³ eyes that looked like an empty bluesky. She put her knobby hands on Sara’s face to read her bones, and said that she saw three babies and a longlife, but that it wouldn’t be good enough. What’s that supposed to mean? Sara asked, incensed¹⁴, and MadameAgnes explained that fortunes were like clay, and could be reshaped at any time. But you could only remakeyour own future, not anyone else’s, and for some people that just wasn’t good enough.

She put her hands on my face and said only one thing: Save yourself.

She told us we would run out of gas again just over the Colorado border, and we did.

Now, in the hospital room, Sara looks at me blankly. “When did we go to Nevada?” she asks. Then sheshakes her head. “We need to talk. If Anna is really going through with this hearing on Monday, then I needto review your testimony¹⁵.”

“Actually.” I look down at my hands. “I’m going to speak on Anna’s behalf.”

“What?”

With a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure Kate is still sleeping, I do my best to explain. “Sara,believe me, I’ve thought long and hard about this one. And if Anna’s through being a donor¹⁶ for Kate, we’vegot to respect that.”

“If you testify for Anna, the judge is going to say that at least one of her parents is capable of supporting thispetition, and he’s going to rule in her favor.”

“I know that,” I say. “Why else would I do it?”

We stare at each other, speechless, unwilling¹⁷ to admit what lies at the end of each of these roads.

“Sara,” I ask finally, “what do you want from me?”

“I want to look at you and remember what it used to be like,” she says thickly. “I want to go back, Brian. Iwant you to take me back.”

But she is not the woman I used to know, the woman who traveled a countryside counting prairie dog holes,who read aloud the classifieds of lonely cowboys seeking women and told me, in the darkest crease¹⁸ of thenight, that she would love me until the moon lost its footing in the sky.

To be fair, I am not the same man. The one who listened. The one who believed her.

1 octopus   

n.章鱼

参考例句：

• He experienced nausea after eating octopus.吃了章鱼后他感到恶心。
• One octopus has eight tentacles.一条章鱼有八根触角。

2 gutted   

adj.容易消化的v.毁坏（建筑物等）的内部( gut的过去式和过去分词 )；取出…的内脏

参考例句：

• Disappointed? I was gutted! 失望？我是伤心透了！
• The invaders gutted the historic building. 侵略者们将那幢历史上有名的建筑洗劫一空。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

3 tentacles   

n.触手( tentacle的名词复数 )；触角；触须；触毛

参考例句：

• Tentacles of fear closed around her body. 恐惧的阴影笼罩着她。
• Many molluscs have tentacles. 很多软体动物有触角。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 locker   

n.更衣箱，储物柜，冷藏室，上锁的人

参考例句：

• At the swimming pool I put my clothes in a locker.在游泳池我把衣服锁在小柜里。
• He moved into the locker room and began to slip out of his scrub suit.他走进更衣室把手术服脱下来。

5 wrecked   

adj.失事的，遇难的

参考例句：

• the hulk of a wrecked ship 遇难轮船的残骸
• the salvage of the wrecked tanker 对失事油轮的打捞

6 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

7 strings   

n.弦

参考例句：

• He sat on the bed,idly plucking the strings of his guitar.他坐在床上，随意地拨着吉他的弦。
• She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。

8 unison   

n.步调一致，行动一致

参考例句：

• The governments acted in unison to combat terrorism.这些国家的政府一致行动对付恐怖主义。
• My feelings are in unison with yours.我的感情与你的感情是一致的。

9 mattress   

n.床垫，床褥

参考例句：

• The straw mattress needs to be aired.草垫子该晾一晾了。
• The new mattress I bought sags in the middle.我买的新床垫中间陷了下去。

10 shanty   

n.小屋，棚屋；船工号子

参考例句：

• His childhood was spent in a shanty.他的童年是在一个简陋小屋里度过的。
• I want to quit this shanty.我想离开这烂房子。

11 psychic   

n.对超自然力敏感的人；adj.有超自然力的

参考例句：

• Some people are said to have psychic powers.据说有些人有通灵的能力。
• She claims to be psychic and to be able to foretell the future.她自称有特异功能，能预知未来。

12 bucks   

n.雄鹿( buck的名词复数 )；钱；（英国十九世纪初的）花花公子；（用于某些表达方式）责任v.（马等）猛然弓背跃起( buck的第三人称单数 )；抵制；猛然震荡；马等尥起后蹄跳跃

参考例句：

• They cost ten bucks. 这些值十元钱。
• They are hunting for bucks. 他们正在猎雄兔。 来自《简明英汉词典》

13 cataract   

n.大瀑布，奔流，洪水，白内障

参考例句：

• He is an elderly gentleman who had had a cataract operation.他是一位曾经动过白内障手术的老人。
• The way is blocked by the tall cataract.高悬的大瀑布挡住了去路。

14 incensed   

盛怒的

参考例句：

• The decision incensed the workforce. 这个决定激怒了劳工大众。
• They were incensed at the decision. 他们被这个决定激怒了。

15 testimony   

n.证词；见证，证明

参考例句：

• The testimony given by him is dubious.他所作的证据是可疑的。
• He was called in to bear testimony to what the police officer said.他被传入为警官所说的话作证。

16 donor   

n.捐献者；赠送人；(组织、器官等的)供体

参考例句：

• In these cases,the recipient usually takes care of the donor afterwards.在这类情况下，接受捐献者以后通常会照顾捐赠者。
• The Doctor transplanted the donor's heart to Mike's chest cavity.医生将捐赠者的心脏移植进麦克的胸腔。

17 unwilling   

adj.不情愿的

参考例句：

• The natives were unwilling to be bent by colonial power.土著居民不愿受殖民势力的摆布。
• His tightfisted employer was unwilling to give him a raise.他那吝啬的雇主不肯给他加薪。

18 crease   

n.折缝，褶痕，皱褶；v.(使)起皱

参考例句：

• Does artificial silk crease more easily than natural silk?人造丝比天然丝更易起皱吗？
• Please don't crease the blouse when you pack it.包装时请不要将衬衫弄皱了。