The state of Roberta's mind for that night is not easily to be described. For here was true and poignant1 love, andin youth true and poignant love is difficult to withstand. Besides it was coupled with the most stirring andgrandiose illusions in regard to Clyde's local material and social condition--illusions which had little to do withanything he had done to build up, but were based rather on conjecture2 and gossip over which he had no control.
And her own home, as well as her personal situation was so unfortunate--no promise of any kind save in hisdirection. And here she was quarreling with him--sending him away angry. On the other hand was he notbeginning to push too ardently3 toward those troublesome and no doubt dreadful liberties and familiarities whichher morally trained conscience would not permit her to look upon as right? How was she to do now? What tosay?
Now it was that she said to herself in the dark of her room, after having slowly and thoughtfully undressed andnoiselessly crept into the large, old-fashioned bed. "No, I won't do that. I mustn't. I can't. I will be a bad girl if Ido. I should not do that for him even though he does want me to, and should threaten to leave me forever in caseI refuse. He should be ashamed to ask me." And at the very same moment, or the next, she would be askingherself what else under the circumstances they were to do. For most certainly Clyde was at least partially4 correctin his contention5 that they had scarcely anywhere else they could go and not be recognized. How unfair was thatrule of the company. And no doubt apart from that rule, the Griffiths would think it beneath him to be troublingwith her, as would no doubt the Newtons and the Gilpins for that matter, if they should hear and know who hewas. And if this information came to their knowledge it would injure him and her. And she would not doanything that would injure him--never.
One thing that occurred to her at this point was that she should get a place somewhere else so that this problemshould be solved--a problem which at the moment seemed to have little to do with the more immediate6 andintimate one of desiring to enter her room. But that would mean that she would not see him any more all daylong--only at night. And then not every night by any means. And that caused her to lay aside this thought ofseeking another place.
At the same time as she now meditated7 the dawn would come to-morrow and there would be Clyde at thefactory. And supposing that he should not speak to her nor she to him. Impossible! Ridiculous! Terrible! Themere thought brought her to a sitting posture8 in bed, where distractedly a vision of Clyde looking indifferentlyand coldly upon her came to her.
On the instant she was on her feet and had turned on the one incandescent9 globe which dangled10 from the centerof the room. She went to the mirror hanging above the old walnut11 dresser in the corner and stared at herself.
Already she imagined she could see dark rings under her eyes. She felt numb12 and cold and now shook her headin a helpless and distracted way. He couldn't be that mean. He couldn't be that cruel to her now--could he? Oh, ifhe but knew how difficult--how impossible was the thing he was asking of her! Oh, if the day would only comeso that she could see his face again! Oh, if it were only another night so that she could take his hands in hers--hisarm--feel his arms about her.
"Clyde, Clyde," she exclaimed half aloud, "you wouldn't do that to me, would you--you couldn't."She crossed to an old, faded and somewhat decrepit13 overstuffed chair which stood in the center of the roombeside a small table whereon lay some nondescript books and magazines--the Saturday Evening Post, Munsey's,the Popular Science Monthly, Bebe's Garden Seeds, and to escape most distracting and searing thoughts, satdown, her chin in her hands, her elbows planted on her knees. But the painful thoughts continuing and a sense ofchill overtaking her, she took a comforter off the bed and folded it about her, then opened the seed catalogue-onlyto throw it down.
"No, no, no, he couldn't do that to me, he wouldn't." She must not let him. Why, he had told her over and overthat he was crazy about her--madly in love with her. They had been to all these wonderful places together.
And now, without any real consciousness of her movements, she was moving from the chair to the edge of thebed, sitting with elbows on knees and chin in hands; or she was before the mirror or peering restlessly out intothe dark to see if there were any trace of day. And at six, and six-thirty when the light was just breaking and itwas nearing time to dress, she was still up--in the chair, on the edge of the bed, in the corner before the mirror.
But she had reached but one definite conclusion and that was that in some way she must arrange not to haveClyde leave her. That must not be. There must be something that she could say or do that would cause him tolove her still--even if, even if--well, even if she must let him stop in here or somewhere from time to time--someother room in some other rooming house maybe, where she could arrange in some way beforehand--say that hewas her brother or something.
But the mood that dominated Clyde was of a different nature. To have understood it correctly, the full measureand obstinacy14 and sullen15 contentiousness16 that had suddenly generated, one would have had to return to KansasCity and the period in which he had been so futilely17 dancing attendance upon Hortense Briggs. Also his havingbeen compelled to give up Rita,--yet to no end. For, although the present conditions and situation were different,and he had no moral authority wherewith to charge Roberta with any such unfair treatment as Hortense hadmeted out to him, still there was this other fact that girls--all of them--were obviously stubborn and self-preservative, always setting themselves apart from and even above the average man and so wishing to compelhim to do a lot of things for them without their wishing to do anything in return. And had not Ratterer always told him that in so far as girls were concerned he was more or less of a fool--too easy--too eager to show his handand let them know that he was struck on them. Whereas, as Ratterer had explained, Clyde possessed18 the looks-the"goods"--and why should he always be trailing after girls unless they wanted him very much. And thisthought and compliment had impressed him very much at that time. Only because of the fiascos in connectionwith Hortense and Rita he was more earnest now. Yet here he was again in danger of repeating or bringing uponhimself what had befallen him in the case of Hortense and Rita.
At the same time he was not without the self-incriminating thought that in seeking this, most distinctly he wasdriving toward a relationship which was not legitimate19 and that would prove dangerous in the future. For, as henow darkly and vaguely20 thought, if he sought a relationship which her prejudices and her training would notpermit her to look upon as anything but evil, was he not thereby21 establishing in some form a claim on her part tosome consideration from him in the future which it might not be so easy for him to ignore? For after all he wasthe aggressor--not she. And because of this, and whatever might follow in connection with it, might not she be ina position to demand more from him than he might be willing to give? For was it his intention to marry her? Inthe back of his mind there lurked22 something which even now assured him that he would never desire to marryher--could not in the face of his high family connections here. Therefore should he proceed to demand--or shouldhe not? And if he did, could he avoid that which would preclude23 any claim in the future?
He did not thus so distinctly voice his inmost feelings to himself, but relatively24 of such was their nature. Yet sogreat was the temperamental and physical enticement25 of Roberta that in spite of a warning nudge or mood thatseemed to hint that it was dangerous for him to persist in his demand, he kept saying to himself that unless shewould permit him to her room, he would not have anything more to do with her, the desire for her being all butoverpowering.
This contest which every primary union between the sexes, whether with or without marriage implies, wasfought out the next day in the factory. And yet without a word on either side. For Clyde, although he consideredhimself to be deeply in love with Roberta, was still not so deeply involved but that a naturally selfish andambitious and seeking disposition26 would in this instance stand its ground and master any impulse. And he wasdetermined to take the attitude of one who had been injured and was determined27 not to be friends any more oryield in any way unless some concession28 on her part, such as would appease29 him, was made.
And in consequence he came into the stamping department that morning with the face and air of one who wasvastly preoccupied30 with matters which had little, if anything, to do with what had occurred the night before. Yet,being far from certain that this attitude on his part was likely to lead to anything but defeat, he was inwardlydepressed and awry31. For, after all, the sight of Roberta, freshly arrived, and although pale and distrait32, ascharming and energetic as ever, was not calculated to assure him of any immediate or even ultimate victory. Andknowing her as well as he thought he did, by now, he was but weakly sustained by the thought that she mightyield.
He looked at her repeatedly when she was not looking. And when in turn she looked at him repeatedly, but onlyat first when he was not looking, later when she felt satisfied that his eyes, whether directly bent33 on her or not,must be encompassing34 her, still no trace of recognition could she extract. And now to her bitter disappointment,not only did he choose to ignore her, but quite for the first time since they had been so interested in each other,he professed35 to pay, if not exactly conspicuous36 at least noticeable and intentional37 attention to those other girls who were always so interested in him and who always, as she had been constantly imagining, were but waitingfor any slight overture38 on his part, to yield themselves to him in any way that he might dictate39.
Now he was looking over the shoulder of Ruza Nikoforitch, her plump face with its snub nose and weak chinturned engagingly toward him, and he commenting on something not particularly connected with the work inhand apparently40, for both were idly smiling. Again, in a little while, he was by the side of Martha Bordaloue, herplump French shoulders and arms bare to the pits next to his. And for all her fleshy solidity and decidedlyforeign flavor, there was still enough about her which most men would like. And with her Clyde was attemptingto jest, too.
And later it was Flora41 Brandt, the very sensuous42 and not unpleasing American girl whom Roberta had seenClyde cultivating from time to time. Yet, even so, she had never been willing to believe that he might becomeinterested in any of these. Not Clyde, surely.
And yet he could not see her at all now--could not find time to say a single word, although all these pleasantwords and gay looks for all these others. Oh, how bitter! Oh, how cruel! And how utterly43 she despised thoseother girls with their oglings and their open attempts to take him from her. Oh, how terrible. Surely he must bevery opposed to her now--otherwise he could not do this, and especially after all that had been between them--thelove--the kisses.
The hours dragged for both, and with as much poignance44 for Clyde as for Roberta. For his was a feverish45, urgentdisposition where his dreams were concerned, and could ill brook46 the delay or disappointments that are the chiefand outstanding characteristics of the ambitions of men, whatever their nature. He was tortured hourly by thethought that he was to lose Roberta or that to win her back he would have to succumb47 to her wishes.
And on her part she was torn, not so much by the question as to whether she would have to yield in this matter(for by now that was almost the least of her worries), but whether, once so yielding, Clyde would be satisfiedwith just some form of guarded social contact in the room--or not. And so continue on the strength of that to befriends with her. For more than this she would not grant--never. And yet--this suspense48. The misery49 of hisindifference. She could scarcely endure it from minute to minute, let alone from hour to hour, and finally in anagony of dissatisfaction with herself at having brought all this on herself, she retired50 to the rest room at aboutthree in the afternoon and there with the aid of a piece of paper found on the floor and a small bit of pencil whichshe had, she composed a brief note:
"Please, Clyde, don't be mad at me, will you? Please don't. Please look at me and speak to me, won't you? I'm sosorry about last night, really I am--terribly. And I must see you to-night at the end of Elm Street at 8:30 if youcan, will you? I have something to tell you. Please do come. And please do look at me and tell me you will, eventhough you are angry. You won't be sorry. I love you so. You know I do.
"Your sorrowful,"ROBERTA."And in the spirit of one who is in agonized51 search for an opiate, she folded up the paper and returning to the room, drew close to Clyde's desk. He was before it at the time, bent over some slips. And quickly as she passedshe dropped the paper between his hands. He looked up instantly, his dark eyes still hard at the moment with themingled pain and unrest and dissatisfaction and determination that had been upon him all day, and notingRoberta's retreating figure as well as the note, he at once relaxed, a wave of puzzled satisfaction as well asdelight instantly filled him. He opened it and read. And as instantly his body was suffused52 with a warm and yetvery weakening ray.
And Roberta in turn, having reached her table and paused to note if by any chance any one had observed her,now looked cautiously about, a strained and nervous look in her eyes. But seeing Clyde looking directly at her,his eyes filled with a conquering and yet yielding light and a smile upon his lips, and his head nodding a happyassent, she as suddenly experienced a dizzying sensation, as though her hitherto constricted53 blood, detained by aconstricted heart and constricted nerves, were as suddenly set free. And all the dry marshes54 and cracked andparched banks of her soul--the dry rivulets55 and streams and lakes of misery that seemed to dot her being--were asinstantly flooded with this rich upwelling force of life and love.
He would meet her. They would meet to-night. He would put his arms around her and kiss her as before. Shewould be able to look in his eyes. They would not quarrel any more--oh, never if she could help it.
要描绘这天夜晚罗伯达的心境，可真不易。要知道这是真挚和炽烈的爱情，而对年轻人来说，真挚和炽烈的爱情，也就最难忍受。此外，跟爱情结伴而来的，还有对克莱德在当地经济。社会地位最令人激动。乃至于大肆铺张的种种幻想……这些幻想却很少跟他本人的举止言谈有关，多半是以他无法控制的众人的推想和闲言闲话作为根据。她自己家里，还有她个人遭际，全都是那么时运不济……如今她的全部希望都和克莱德连在一起。可是，她突然跟他吵嘴，一下子把他气走了。不过另一方面，他这不是头脑过分发热，硬要采取那些令人烦恼的。无疑是很可怕的冒昧和放肆的行动吗?
对此，她平素受过道德熏陶的良心，决不会视为正当的行动。现在，她该怎么办呢?
对他又该说些什么才好?
她慢条斯理地。沉思默想地脱去衣服，一声不响地爬上那张老式大床，就在她黑咕隆冬的房间里自言自语道，"不，这个我可不干。我一定不干。我可不能那么干。要是我干了，那就变成一个坏女人啦。我不该为了他这么干，哪怕是他要我干，吓唬说我要是拒绝他就永远甩掉我，我也不干。他对我提出这样要求，就应该感到害臊。"可是就在同一个时刻，或是过了一会儿，她又反躬自问:
在目前情况下，他们还有没有别的事情可做?
克莱德说，现在他们真的无处可去，到哪儿都会被人看见的，毫无疑问，这话至少部分是说对了。那个厂规该有多么不公平啊。而且，除了这个厂规以外，格里菲思一家人也一定认为她是怎么都高攀不上克莱德的;牛顿夫妇和吉尔平一家人，要是听到和得知克莱德其人其事以后，也一定会有同样看法。这个消息只要一传到他们耳里，一定对他不利，对她也不利。她决不做……永远也不做任何对他不利的事。
这时，她忽然一个闪念，想起一件事，那就是:
她应该在别处找个工作，这个问题也就迎刃而解了……它跟目前迫在眉睫的。克莱德想进她房间的问题，好象并没有什么关系。不过，这就意味着，她整个白天见不到他……只好到晚上才跟他见面。而且也不是说每天晚上都见得到他。这就使她把另觅事由的念头甩在一边了。
继而她又想到，明儿天一亮，在厂里就会见到克莱德了。万一他不跟她说话，她也不跟他说话呢?
不可能!
太可笑了!
太可怕了!
她一想到这里，就从床上坐了起来，眼前浮现克莱德冷若冰霜地直瞅着她的幻象，真是让人心烦意乱。
她顿时下了床，把悬在房间中央的那盏白炽灯打开。她朝角落里挂在老式胡桃木梳妆台上的那面镜子走过去，两眼直盯着自己。她仿佛觉得，她看见自己眼底的几道黑圈了。她感到麻木。寒冷，于是，她就无可奈何地。心乱如麻地摇摇头。不，不，他不可能这么卑鄙下流。他也不可能对她这么残酷……可不是吗?
哦，只要他知道他要求她的这件事很难办到……也不可能办到就好了!
哦，但愿快快天亮，她又能见到他的脸!
哦，但愿明天夜晚早早到来，她就可以握住他的手，拉住他的胳臂，感到自己正偎在他怀抱里。
"克莱德，克莱德，"她几乎轻声在呼唤着。"您不会这样对待我的，是吧……您不可能……"她朝房间中央一张褪了色。破旧的。鼓鼓囊囊的老式软椅走过去。这张软椅旁边，有一张小桌，桌上放着各种各样的书报杂志，有《星期六晚邮报》。《芒赛氏杂志》。《通俗科学月报》。《贝贝花卉种子一览》等等。为了躲开那些令人心烦意乱。五内俱裂的念头，她就坐了下来，两手托住下巴颏儿，胳膊肘支在膝盖上。可是，那些令人痛苦的念头在她脑际却始终不绝如缕，她觉得一阵寒颤，就从床上拿来一条羊毛围巾，兜住身子，随即把种子目录打开，但没有多久，却又把它扔在一边。
"不，不，不，他可不能这样对待我的，谅他不会这样的。"她绝对不让他这么做。哦，他再三对她说，他为了她简直想疯了，还说……他爱她爱得快疯了。
多少好玩的地方他们都一起逛过啊。
这时，她几乎一点儿都没有意识到自己在做什么，她一会儿从软椅上站起来，坐到床沿，胳膊肘支在膝蓝上，两手托住下巴颏儿;不一会儿，她站到镜子跟前，心神不安地朝窗外一片黑暗窥看，有没有一丝曙光的迹象。到了六点钟。
六点半，刚露出一点亮光，快到起床的时刻了，她还是没有躺下……一会儿坐在软椅里，一会儿坐在床沿，一会儿又站到角落里的镜子跟前。
可她得到的唯一确切的结论，就是:
她务必想方设法不让克莱德离开她。想必不会那样吧。那末，她就得说些什么话，或是作出一些什么表态，使他依然如同往日里一样爱她……即便，即便……哦，即便她必须让他经常到这里来，或是到别处去……比方说，事前她可以设法安排，在别处可供寄宿的地方寻摸一个房间，说克莱德是她的哥哥，如此等等。
然而，主宰看克莱德的，却是另一种心境。若要正确认识这次突然产生争论的来龙去脉，以及他那固执阴沉的脾性，就必须回溯到他在堪萨斯城时期，以及他阿谀奉承霍丹斯。布里格斯结果却落了空的那一段生活经历。还有他不得不放弃丽达……因而也是一无所得。因为，尽管目前条件和情况跟过去不同，而且，他也无权在道义上指责罗伯达如同过去霍丹斯对待他那样不公平。可是，事实上，姑娘……包括所有的姑娘在内……显然全都固执，处心积虑地保护自己，总是跟男子保持距离，有时甚至置身于男子之上，希望迫使他们百般讨好她们，可她们自己却一点儿也不回报他们。拉特勒不是常常对他这样说:
他自己跟姑娘们打交道，简直是一个傻瓜……太软弱……太心急，一下子就摊牌，让她们知道他已给她们迷上了。而且，拉特勒还对他说过，克莱德长得很漂亮……那才是"踏破铁鞋也觅不到的"……除非姑娘们真的非常疼爱他，他没有必要老是跟在她们后面紧追不舍。拉特勒这种想法和赞词，当初给他留下了很深印象。
因为过去他跟霍丹斯。丽达交往，都是败得很惨，现在他心里就更要认真对付了。但是，他跟霍丹斯。丽达交往时遇到的结局，如今又有重演的危险了。
同时，他心里也不能不责备自己，觉得自己这样企图显然会引向一种非法的。将来肯定危险的关系发展。这时，他心里模模糊糊地在想:
如果他要求得到的，正是她的成见和教养视为邪恶的那种关系，那末，他不就使她将来有权要求有所考虑，那时他要是置之不理，也许并不那么容易了。因为，说到底，进攻的是他，而不是……她。正因为这一点，以及将来由此而可能发生的事，她不就可以向他提出比他愿意给予的更多要求了吗?
难道说他真的打算跟她结婚了吗?
在他心灵深处，还隐藏着一种思想……即便此刻，它还在向自己暗示说，他是决不愿意跟她结婚的……而且，他也决不能当着这里高贵的亲戚的面跟她结婚。所以，现在他到底应该不应该再提出这个要求呢?
要是他再提出来的话，他能不能做到使她将来不提出任何要求?
他内心深处的思想情绪还不是这么清晰，不过大致上包含这样的意思。可是，罗伯达性格和体态毕竟富有那么大的魅力，尽管他心里也发出一种警告的信号，或是类似这样一种心境，好象在暗示说:
他要是坚持自己的要求，那就很危险;殊不知他还是照样不断地对自己说:
除非她允许他到她房间去，否则他就从此跟她断绝来往。占有她的欲望，在他心中还是占上风。
凡是两性之间最初结合，不管结婚与否，都包含着一场内心斗争，而这样一场内心斗争，转天就在厂里展开了。不过，双方谁也没有说一句话。因为克莱德虽然自以为热恋着罗伯达，事实上，他的感情还没有深深地陷了进去，可是，他那天生自私自利。爱好虚荣和贪图享乐的性格，这一回决心寸步不让，定要主宰所有其它的欲念。他决心装出受害者的样子，除非她能作出一些让步，满足他的愿望，否则他坚决不再跟她交朋友，坚决不妥协。
因此，那天早上他一走进打印间，就流露出自己正为许许多多的事忧心忡忡的神态，其实，这些事跟昨儿晚上根本没有丝毫联系。不过，他的这种态度，除了失败以外，还能引出什么结果来，连他自己也没有把握。他在内心深处，还是受压抑，很别扭。后来，他终于看到罗伯达翩然而至，虽然她脸色苍白，神情恍惚，可还是象往日里那么可爱，那么富有活力。这一景象就未必能保证他很快取得胜利，或是最后一定取得胜利。直到此刻，他自以为了解她，正如过去他很了解她一样。因此，他抱着很小的希望，觉得也许她会让步。
他动不动就抬眼望着她，这时她并不在看他。而她呢，开头只是在他并不在看她时才不断看着他;后来，她发觉他的目光，不管是不是直接盯住她，肯定也是围着她转的。不过，她还是丝毫找不到他要向她招呼的迹象。让她特别伤心的是，他不但不想理睬她，而且相反，从他们彼此相爱以来可说还是头一回，他却向别的姑娘们献殷勤了，虽然不算太露骨，但是至少相当明显，而且故意这样向她们献殷勤。那些姑娘平日里对他总是很赞赏;罗伯达一直这样认为:
她们一个劲儿在等待，只要他作出一丁点儿表示，她们就心甘情愿，听任他随意摆布。
这时，他的目光正从罗莎。尼柯弗列奇背后扫了过来。她那长着塌鼻子。
肉下巴的胖脸儿，卖弄风骚地一下子冲他转了过去。他正在向她说一些话，不过显然不见得跟眼前的活儿有什么直接关系，因为他们两人都是在优哉游哉地微笑。不一会儿，他就走到了玛莎。博达洛身边。这个法国姑娘胖墩墩的肩膀和整个儿袒裸着的胳臂，差点儿没擦着他呢。尽管她长得十分肥硕，肯定还有异国姑娘的气味，可是须眉汉子十之八九照样很喜欢她。克莱德也还在想跟她调谑哩。
克莱德的目光并没有放过弗洛拉。布兰特，她是一个非常肉感。长得不算难看的美国姑娘。平日里罗伯达看见过克莱德总是目不转睛地盯住她。可是，尽管这样，过去她始终不肯相信:
这些姑娘里头哪一个，会使克莱德感到兴趣。
克莱德肯定不感兴趣。
可是现在，他压根儿连看也不看她一眼，也没有工夫跟她说一个字，尽管对所有其他的姑娘们，他是多么和颜悦色，谈笑风生。啊，多么心酸啊!
啊，多么心狠!
这些娘儿们一个劲儿向他挤眉弄眼，公然想从她手里把他夺走，她压根儿仇视她们。啊，多么可怕。现在想必他是与她作对了……要不然，他不会对她如此这般的，特别是在他们经过了那么多接触。恋爱。亲吻等等以后。
他们俩觉得，时间过得太慢了，不论克莱德也好，还是罗伯达也好，都是心痛如绞了。他对自己的梦想总是表现狂热和急不可待的，面对延宕和失望却受不了，这些主要特点正是爱好虚荣的男子所固有，不管他们性格各各不同。
他担心自己要末失掉罗伯达，要末就向她屈尊俯就，才能重新得到她。这个想法时时刻刻在折磨着他。
如今使她心肝俱裂的，并不是这一回她该不该让步的问题(因为，时至今日，这几乎已是她的忧念里头最最微不足道的问题了)，而是多少怀疑:
她一旦屈服，让他进入房间后，克莱德究竟能不能感到心满意足，就这样继续跟她交朋友。
因为，再要进一步，她就不会答应……万万不答应。可是……这种悬念，以及他的冷淡使她感到的痛苦，她简直一分钟都忍受不了，更不要说一小时。一小时地忍受了。后来，她自怨自艾地想到这一切苦果正是自己招来的。大约下午三点钟，她走进休息室，从地板上捡到一张纸，用自己身边的一支铅笔头，写了一个便条。
克莱德，我请求您千万别生气，好吗?
请您千万别生气。请您来看看我，跟我说说话，好吗?
说到昨儿晚上的事，我很抱歉，说真的，我……非常抱歉。今晚八点半，我准定在埃尔姆街的尽头跟您见面，您来吗?
我有一些话要跟您讲。
请您一定要来。请您千万来看看我，告诉我您一定会来，哪怕是您在生气。我不会让您不高兴的。我是那么爱您。您知道我是爱您的。
您的伤心的罗伯达她好象痛苦万分，急急乎在寻找镇痛剂，她把便条折好，回到打印间，紧挨克莱德的办公桌走了过去。这时，他正好坐在桌旁，低头在看几张纸条子。
她走过时，一眨眼就把便条扔到他手里。他马上抬头一看，这时，他那乌溜溜的眼睛还是冷峻的，里面还搀杂着从早到晚的痛苦。不安。不满和决心。可是，一见到这个便条和渐渐远去的罗伯达的身影，他心里一下子宽慰了，一种莫名其妙的满意和喜悦的神情，顿时从他眼里流露了出来。他打开便条一看，刹那间感到浑身上下已被一片虽然温暖。但却微弱的光芒所照亮了。
再说罗伯达回到自己桌子旁，先停下来看看有没有人在注意她，随后小心翼翼地往四周张望了一下，眼里流露出一种惴惴不安的神色。可她一见到克莱德这会儿正瞅着她，流露出一种虽然胜利。但却顺从的目光，嘴边含着微笑，向她点头表示欣然同意……这时，罗伯达突然感到头晕目眩了，仿佛刚才由于心脏和神经收缩而形成的淤血已经消散，血液猛地又欢畅地奔流起来。她心灵里所有干涸了的沼泽，龟裂。烧焦了的堤岸，以及遍布全身的那些干涸了的溪涧。小河，与饱含痛苦的湖泊……顷刻之间都注满了生命与爱的无穷无尽。不断涌来的力量。
他要跟她会面了。今儿晚上他们要会面了。他会搂住她，同从前那样亲吻她了。她又可以直瞅着他的眼眸了。他们再也不会争吵了……哦，只要她想得出办法来，他们就永远不会吵架了。
收听单词发音 |
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poignant
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| adj.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 | |
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conjecture
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| n./v.推测，猜测 | |
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ardently
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| adv.热心地，热烈地 | |
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partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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contention
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| n.争论，争辩，论战；论点，主张 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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meditated
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| 深思，沉思，冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 )； 内心策划，考虑 | |
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posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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incandescent
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| adj.遇热发光的， 白炽的，感情强烈的 | |
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dangled
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| 悬吊着( dangle的过去式和过去分词 )； 摆动不定； 用某事物诱惑…； 吊胃口 | |
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walnut
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| n.胡桃，胡桃木，胡桃色，茶色 | |
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numb
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| adj.麻木的，失去感觉的；v.使麻木 | |
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decrepit
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| adj.衰老的，破旧的 | |
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obstinacy
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| n.顽固；（病痛等）难治 | |
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sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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contentiousness
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futilely
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| futile（无用的）的变形； 干 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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lurked
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| vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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preclude
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| vt.阻止，排除，防止；妨碍 | |
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relatively
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| adv.比较...地，相对地 | |
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enticement
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| n.诱骗，诱人 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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concession
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| n.让步，妥协；特许(权) | |
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appease
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| v.安抚，缓和，平息，满足 | |
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preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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awry
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| adj.扭曲的，错的 | |
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distrait
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| adj.心不在焉的 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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encompassing
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| v.围绕( encompass的现在分词 )；包围；包含；包括 | |
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professed
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| 公开声称的，伪称的，已立誓信教的 | |
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conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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intentional
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| adj.故意的，有意（识）的 | |
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overture
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| n.前奏曲、序曲，提议，提案，初步交涉 | |
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dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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flora
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| n.(某一地区的)植物群 | |
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sensuous
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| adj.激发美感的；感官的，感觉上的 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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poignance
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feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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succumb
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| v.屈服，屈从；死 | |
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suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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agonized
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| v.使（极度）痛苦，折磨( agonize的过去式和过去分词 )；苦斗；苦苦思索；感到极度痛苦 | |
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suffused
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| v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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constricted
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| adj.抑制的，约束的 | |
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marshes
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| n.沼泽，湿地( marsh的名词复数 ) | |
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rivulets
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| n.小河，小溪( rivulet的名词复数 ) | |
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